Do you Ever...

Do you ever feel the need to do something completely crazy? Not for attention, but to prove to yourself that you're even alive, and are more than a robot? Do you ever feel so trapped that you would be willing to do something incredibly stupid too break the rut?

Right now, I almost want to hurt myself to confirm that I can still feel. I've only ever deliberately hurt myself once, so I can resist. But I don't really know what to do.

Running is a good option. after about 90 seconds, you will feel very alive because if you haven't practiced, that is the point when your body starts freaking out because its general energy stores are gone and it must actually work for more energy.

90 seconds? I could probably do 20. I am way out of shape. Actually, I've never been in shape. I'm not fond of pain, even the kind that comes from a good workout. There's a reason why I don't SI.

That's good, don't si. I thought I'd be able to control my si'ing, but it gets out of control real fast. The running would do, even for those 20 secs.