About to lose it

Ive been having some mental health issues lately with anxiety, depression, loneliness, fear of abandonment, and feelings of inadequacy. I'm trying really hard to finish my crazy semester strong and try to focus on myself this summer, but everything is going wrong.

I made a goof the other day that may have gotten me into legal trouble, but I won't know for a while. I want to tell my dad but other stuff keeps popping up. He has a horrible temper some times. Today, I got into a fender bender and a piece of my dad's car fell off. To make matters worse, I'm pretty sure that my hard drive just crashed. I have little backed up, it kills me to think that I just lost 3 years worth of memories and writing. I can't afford a new one.

Now, I feel alone and hopeless. My laptop is my world. I can't do homework without it. Plus, I don't have a lot of friends here. I keep myself happy with my solitude by doing things on my laptop all of the time. If I don't have it, I will. Have nothing to do.

Now, I'm texting a good friend, but I feel awful because I'm reminded that I have no one to hold me and offer advice. I never have anyone helping me do anything and so I learn everything the hard way. When I had a bf, they always helped me with school, my car, and my laptop.

I'm so alone with no means to distract myself. My mom is too mentally I'll to help me, my sister is dead, and I'm afraid that if I do anything wrong, my dad will leave me again.

And how am I supposed to make friends if I'm sad and scared? I feel that bad luck follows me everywhere and that I should give up on pursuing happiness. I need to see my therapist, but she can't fit me in.

Advice?!?! I'm so scared and alone.

Hang in there!! Things just always seem to work out and you get by somehow.

I can imagine that you are really missing your laptop. Can you take it somewhere and see about getting it fixed?

In the mean time, maybe you can write some things down you would like to put on your laptop and see if there are some other computers available you can use until you can get yours back. Maybe someone will let you use theirs for a bit, anyway.

You might even write your therapist a "pretend" letter about what you'd like to say, if you did have an appointment. Yes, you actually might have to use pen and paper, but it can work.

That will be a start anyway......You'll be okay. Find other things to do--maybe go to a movie, to the mall, for a walk, etc.

I'm too broke to get it fixed or to do fun things that cost money. I may try the pretend letter though.

And now, it gets worse. The guy I had plans with appears to be bailing on me. Why is everything and everyone ******? What's the point? I give up.

Best thing to possibly do, is anything else to keep your mind busy. Reading, something to get you out of your life for a little while and into a brand new world. Since your computer is down, try maybe xbox, reading a good book actually helps beyond belief. As for a friend situation, I feel completely alone also. If you need a friend, you can always message me if you need someone to talk to.