Suicidal Ideation

I have the weirdest thing about me. I don't know why I think the way I do. About 90 percent of the time when I watch someone that has has a suicide attempt or is just seriously injured, I wish it upon myself. I commend them for how brave they were. I don't know if it is me seeking the attention that comes along with a hospital stay or if I just want to know people care about me. It scares me. This has been going on pretty much my whole life. I just want to know I am not alone in these feelings. I had it happen today, and I don't even feel depressed.

Words of wisdom from anyone? Or does anybody feel this way too?

I think about suicide a lot, but I never talk about it. I know these feelings aren't healthy but I think telling my wife or anyone will make me seem crazy. I have a therapist, but we haven't got to that subject yet. I don't idealize people that have done it though. Maybe it is from the failed attempts and shame that is associated with them.

Heyahh,

I often think about suicide too and wish that when i see someone attempting suicide that it was me cos i want to be dead so badly.. You are not alone in that.. But suicide feelings are not normal and you should seek help if you are thinking about doing harm to yourself..

I am here if you need to chat..

Claire..

It is indeed the greatest help in coming here, to realize we are not alone, and we are not crazy.

The weirdest question I was ever asked was "how many times a day do you think about suicide?" I think about it perpetually. I don't think I can even count it. I think I said 3 or something but that's a ridiculous question for a therapist to ask.

I have had the same problem since I was about 12 yrs. old and still struggle with it to this date. Funny thing is that I went into Nursing and Emergency Medicine. I an out of both fields now due to disability but my last job was as a Psych Nurse/Paramedic on an Adolescent Unit. It was a very hard time for me because I saw thing and heard stories that would bring up my own issues and yet it proved to be my greatest asset because the empathy I hard was like no other. Sometimes you just need to step back and accept that you are ok the way you are and you shouldn't have to seek the approval or attention of others. Just be the best YOU that you can be!

The questions associated with it need to be updated

Have I thought of plans? yes
Does it cross my mind? daily
Do you feel like you want to do it? sometimes

I don't want to do it and I don't admire those that have. But I could see a situation where I get more numb and start ruminating over it again.

I dont think I ever will, but I think about it all the time. Hopefully that answers some of your question.

I often think about suicide but my kids have stopped me, It doesn't make us crazy, We're hurting, I self harm though quite frequently and have tried to stop and this is something I want to try next and work on in therapy

I judge how well my day went by how often I thought about attemting suicide or being hurt in an accident. I have told my therapist that is how I judge my weeks expescially when the first thing in session they ask how my week was.