Ok basically I think I have depression and I can't tell my parents because they make fun of people with mental illnesses and they've got too much pride in their kids. They would be crushed if I told them. Also money is tight for the family so they wouldn't be able to afford meds and therapy for me. What do I do? PLEASE HELP!

[optimize990h]

I don't know how to get the school counsellor to help you without your parents knowing. It has to do with family law stuff that may make it difficult for your parents not to know.

I don't know whether the old line, "I have a friend, and this is my friends situation and go from there." will work for you or not.

Maybe, another PC member has better insight to your dilemma.

[Neptune83]

I would say tell your parents, because that's what your parents are for, to care for you and your needs. As a parent myself, I would rather know if any of my kids were going through depression, or anything else, than them keep it to themselves. Maybe your parents make light of mental illness because they don't have a wonderful understanding of it? Many people fear mental illness, so bury their heads in the sand about it. The last thing any parent would want for their child is for them to suffer, but I can't imagine that they'd want you to suffer in silence. If I'm wrong, then is there a close friend you can talk to? Or another family member you trust? If not, could you try some self help methods? My husband many years ago suffered terrible depression, which led to him attempting to take his life. Something clicked in his head and he started meditating and it helped him massively. He pulled himself through it, using meditation. Maybe you could try that? I probably don't need to tell you this, but diet, exercise and sleep can all help with mental health problems too. I would suggest acupuncture, but of course you'd have to pay for it. Although I don't know if that would be easier financially than therapy and medication. Meds are not the only answer, IMO they mask the problem. They may make you feel better, but there's usually an underlying cause for depression and its better to get to the bottom of that and tackle the problem than bury it with medication, that's obviously where therapy would be useful. You could try a school counsellor, I'm not sure if they have to tell your parents or not but there is such thing as confidentiality. But you have to remember if its to the point where you're thinking about harming yourself, taking your life, or hurting others then confidentiality goes out the window and quite rightly so, because these measures are out in place firstly to protect you, then others if you're a risk to other people. If none of these apply to you then a school counsellor may not be obliged to tell your parents. Just like a therapist wouldn't tell your parents what goes on in your session. Ask them about confidentiality, but I would seriously consider talking to your parents as well. They may not take it as bad as you think and they may be far more supportive than you think too.

[lostinbooks]

I don't really like deception, but if you absolutely feel you can't tell your parents, it may be needed. Depression comes with physical symptoms, like headaches or sleeping problems. Tell your parents you are suffering badly with these and need to see your doctor. When you get there tell your doctor everything you've told us. S/he can help.

As a teenager I had BAD anxiety and depression. I felt I couldn't tell my parents. I didn't have a valid reason like you do, but I just couldn't. I felt like they would see me and themselves as failures. I was so wrong. I waited until I had something like a breakdown. My mom caught me trying to hurt/kill myself (she was supposed to be at work, but had an urge to come home and check on me). As a result I was taken by ambulance to the ER and EVERYONE in town found out about my problems. My parents were concerned and supportive. They just wanted me to be well. I wish I had just told them.

Thank you,this is good advice. I now need a way to tell my parents.

[NWgirl2013]

lostinbooks had a Brilliant idea. I really like it. Go to your parents with your physical symptoms. Say you want to see a doctor.

I didn't know I was depressed & even if I had, my parents didn't "believe" in mental health issues (LOL) They were from a different time.

I wish you the very best of luck as you sort this...

[Ultra Darkness]

I'm in a similar place. No money, don't want to tell my parents that I think something is wrong. Except in my case it's anxiety bordering on paranoia, the occasional hallucination, and (I think) borderline personality symptoms.

No clue what to do though, so I can't offer much.

I understand your position completely, UltraDarkness. We can both think of ways to do this.