[uncreativeartist]

Yeah the title says it all. I have nothing left, no energy, no strength, no nothing. Music is how feelings sound...


Never good at talking, so many things I couldn't say
But those thoughts never went away
And I'm sure you remember, said that all I wanted was sympathy,
Now add this to your memory

Too many times-I felt so sad and lonely
Too many times-I needed someone there
Too many times-I tried to tell you something
Too many times-It seemed like no one cared

And I don't like asking-and it's not easy to say...
I never learned how to pray
So if you have a moment it means so much to me oh can't you see...
If you'd just say a prayer for me

Too many times-I didn't even have a second
Too many times-you thought I was much too strong
Too many times-you said the feeling wouldn't last forever
Too many times-I proved you so damn wrong

Saw the changes-thought they'd go away-do you still remember that day
Can't really fault you-only have myself to blame...
But do you still feel the same

Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya?
But I waited so long-for someone to take my hand, and say they understand

And I waited so long-for someone to show the way-to make a better day
and I waited so long-for someone to spare a kiss for the love I miss
And I waited so long-for you to look me in the eye
And say it's worth another try
But yo keep me waiting-waiting-too many times

You keep me waiting, one too many, one too many, one too many times,
Too many times
One too many one too many one too many times too many times
Can't you see yo keep me waiting-one too many times

~Suicidal Tendencies

Theres some things your not supposed to talk about...like all the things I ever think about. I get so tired I just want to sleep, sleep away the chance so deep. Feel my soul flotating free, no more pain left in me, and if I sleep until tomorrow, will I even care to wake up in sorrow, cause I missed another day, I probably wouldn't remember it anyway, well, seems like the world is leaving me behind when I try to explain, you say I lost my mind, you say I need some help, well why else do you think it's going to do, you know it's true, no help from you, so I sit and think about the things that I'm not supposed to talk about, thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking, never no progress, I know I'm not the only one...WAKE UP!

Why do I wake up in the morning?
Nothing’s changed since the day of my birth
Why do I wake up in the morning?
I make no difference on this earth, yeah

Strength has left, has to be, something has died inside of me

If I don't wake up in the morning
At my funeral would anyone even care?
If I don't wake up in the morning, would anyone even be there?

You can put me down, you can put me out, you can try to ignore
But now you're gonna hear me when I shout...WAKE UP!

WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
(Wake) If I don’t wake up (up) If I don’t wake up
(Wake) If I don’t wake up (up) If I don’t wake up

Why should I wake up in the morning? It be just another wasted day
(Another wasted day, another wasted day)
Why should I wake up in the morning?
Don't do nothing right anyway, oh

(Wake) If I don’t wake up (up) If I don’t wake up
(Wake) If I don’t wake up (up) If I don’t wake up
(Wake) If I don’t wake up (up) If I don’t wake up
(Wake) When I really don’t wanna let it wake up (up)

~Suicidal Tendencies

[shezbut]

Are you working with a T? If not, I'd recommend taking that step. If you are, than these are certainly some chronic thoughts that you should talk about with him/her.

There are lots of simple things in life that are beautiful, enjoyable, relaxing, and melodic. Watching a sunrise or sunset; looking at a tree branch sway in a breeze; feeling a piece of Play-Do; eating a peppermint thoughtfully, not allowing yourself to simply chomp and swallow; blowing bubbles; looking at clouds in the sky; listening to birds chirping and flying into the trees; so many little beauties in our lives that we can choose to focus upon, to make it past these dark thoughts that pop into our minds. You can color, work on a puzzle or collage, draw, paint, learn to play an instrument, the list goes on and on!

Give a few of these healthy ideas a try, to get yourself out of the negative state of mind. Once the dark feelings start coming up again, focus on a simple relaxing thing again for a few minutes. Over and over. It really works!

[bharani1008]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so blue. At least your poetry is present. Doesn't it help a little just to put it down in words. Purge the foulness a little? For the longest my journal was my only confidant. Without that I'd be totally boxed in and frozen. I also relate to how hard it is to confide in other people.
Is art a conversation or a soliloquy?
An artist usually needs to be in some kind of beauty to thrive. Is there beautiful nature available to you? Let your soul feed on that and see if it helps.
Yes, you probably need to get some help( obviously you know this).
I hope you feel better soon.

[uncreativeartist]

Wow no clue anyone responded to this post. I remembered I made it the other day and looked for it. Sorry for the late response.

Those are lyrics from songs, nothing I wrote. I have no artistic talent or skill especially in writing.

I tried a the-rapist and it just doesn't work for me. Doesn't seem like enough time to get anything done. I also am not much of a talker and I tend to talk about the same things or what just happened. For them it's great because they get to collect money for doing pretty much nothing, for me though it is not.

No real beauty around by me. Besides getting out of the apartment is not always easy. And unless there is a bathroom nearby, very nearby then it's a no go. Also need bathrooms on the route.

I really am useless.

[allimsaying]

No one is useless. They may not be very active or might be lying low til they are able to sort things out, but you are not useless and saying you are useless only re-affirms your feeling of worthlessness and anyone who looks to you for support might as well believe they are useless too shouldnt they? After all, if it could happen to you, it could happen to them too, right?

Using songs to describe your feelings when the words wont come is a common habit of people who cant express themselves but you should remember that music is a creative object and contains much fiction. Music asks us to imagine the way the song writer felt or what the song writer imagined. It is not our own personal truth but it might in some ways fit the way we feel. If you are going to use music as a coping tool, you might want to include something positive and uplifting also.