Give me a break

Hi all
How's you doin?
I'm not doin so good. I keep having such harsh thoughts. I can't stand to sit with it for much longer. I keep thinking about death and how I'd be better off that way. I feel so stuck right now. Does anyone have any good ideas about how to get out of this headspace so's that I can have a break from it? I don't wana be this way no more. I wana stop hurting so badly. I can't be like this no more. *cries* Nothing much is going on in my life that should make me feel this way, in fact I should probably feel quite the opposite. I am so sick of who I am and how I treat myself. I'm so sick of sadness. I'm so sick of being sick and thinking sick. I'm just sick of it all. *more cries* I don' think that there's much of a way out of this that I can see or get to.

See you people

heya...i find often if u draw or write it helps, also exercise cuz for me pushing myself physically i just find i can channel all my frustration in2 that. if there's anyone u cld talk to about it? or sometimes just going to sleep (if u can sleep atm) cuz at least of ur in bed sleeping u can't do anything dangerous 2 urself. if worst comes to worst, and u really think u'll hurt urself check urself into ED cuz if ur there med staff will stop u from doing anything.

I don't want to go do the whole emergency department thingo. i really just wana stay out of that whole messy place. Damn, what's really stupid is I used to work in the ED. Crazy as. I just need to try some distraction thingos or something. I just feel so inadequate and like such a useless worthless person dammit. It's crazy and I don't expect peoples to understand that.