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HelloWorld18
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Default Jun 26, 2013 at 04:33 AM
  #1
So apparently I'm really weird and annoying, but I don't see how I am. I get told this all the time. Whenever my dad talks to me about how I am, he has nothing good to say, he just talks about how immature I am and how I should act my age.

How do I stop being weird and annoying and how do I act my age? I'm 18, just turned, going to be a senior in hs this coming year
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Default Jun 26, 2013 at 05:31 AM
  #2
Talk to your parents, explain to them that you be a burden. Sometimes parents say so because it is worried about you, they want you well in life.

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Default Jun 26, 2013 at 08:50 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by HelloWorld18 View Post
So apparently I'm really weird and annoying, but I don't see how I am. I get told this all the time. Whenever my dad talks to me about how I am, he has nothing good to say, he just talks about how immature I am and how I should act my age.

How do I stop being weird and annoying and how do I act my age? I'm 18, just turned, going to be a senior in hs this coming year
Hi there, I'm 46 and I have felt that way my whole life, too. Sounds to me like you're dad has some of his own issues to deal with. We should support our children, not tear them down. He is probably just parenting the same way he was parented without thinking about it, sadly. Try to realize that being who you are is OK and that you should be loved for that. You can't live up to your dad's expectations. I have known many people who have tried their whole lives and never found happiness. Love yourself.

Sometimes being "weird" is ok and even good. Steve Jobs was weird. I can't say it's worked in my favor money-wise. I have learned to be an observer of the world and of people in a way that others don't. I have accepted the fact that I am different and I don't expect people to understand. Learning to love myself has taken many years and lots of work. I hope that you are able to do that sooner. Find your passion. Accept and love yourself. Life is awfully short to try to spend it being something you're not. I love weird. It may be harder for you to "find your pack" (like wolves), but you will. I don't have a lot of friends either, but there are a few people out there that are special just like you are and they need you too. Take time to get to know yourself, your likes and dislikes, what your goals are. Try new things and explore life! You are unique and that is good!!
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Default Jun 26, 2013 at 09:05 AM
  #4
I think it's normal to feel weird and annoying at your age. 18 is a tough age to be. Whenever you ask an older person if they would want to be 18 again they say no. So don't be too hard on yourself.
I think your father's feedback is not appropriate for his age. Parents should be supportive and helpful, not critical and hurtful. Is there someone else who you can trust to ask for some constructive feedback that may help you?
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Default Jun 26, 2013 at 09:28 AM
  #5
I'm sorry that your dad has said that to you--he should not have said that, as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunatly, we older people forget what it's like to be younger, and that people do change as they get older. I sometimes get that way with my 17 year old daughter--and my sis has to remind me that my daughter IS acting her age; we older people just want our kids to act OUR age (when we don't even act our age half the time).

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Default Jun 26, 2013 at 10:15 AM
  #6
Hi HelloWorld 18
It is not fair for you to being told by your dad only negative things; perhaps he wants to help you and he does not know how to do it better. Do you have somebody you trust or appreciate that could give you an honest and balanced feedback? I am sure you have positive features to highlight, however, if you are a bit of a disruptive or impulsive person (many of us can be like that, mostly when we are very young) that characteristic does not allow seeing the positive in you. It is not impossible to solve, it is about paying attention to yourself, reactions, etc. But, in any event, it may be that your dad is wrong, that is why I was asking if you have somebody that you trust and can give you an honest and balanced feedback. As other people said here, you are young and will be changing according you grow up, but, in any event, if you can, try to see this as an opportunity to know yourself better and explore alternatives, in case that a little modification in your behavior is needed. Sometimes, we do not realize and we bother others with our reactions and that produces people leaving as aside. Once, during college, a professor made a couple of observations about how I treated my classmates. As it was during an oral exam I was very upset and kept crying for days. Another professor in the tribunal of the oral exam was upset, too, and he and the other professor had a kind of a fight for me. My mom wanted to protest before the ministry of education, as the admonishment was very painful to me. After all the pain passed, I started to think about what the professor had said, leaving apart the circumstances and the ways of the professor. At the end of the day, I understood she was not totally wrong. I was sometimes cocky or patronizing, and this may have been my way to compensate for my disability. To some people, that characteristic of mine could be damaging, hurting their own self-esteem. Then, I started to pay more attention to my behavior, making sure to be careful how to express my ideas, giving room for others to express themselves, as well, etc. Hope I changed for good. But, again, in the beginning I took the criticism in a bad way, the professor had chosen a bad moment and gave me an unwanted feedback in a bad manner, but, anyway, she was right at certain extent. It took me some time, but I finally saw this criticism as an opportunity to improve myself and I believe it was for good. I wish you the best, and please, keep posting!
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Default Jun 29, 2013 at 02:07 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by gypsylady3200 View Post
Hi there, I'm 46 and I have felt that way my whole life, too. Sounds to me like you're dad has some of his own issues to deal with. We should support our children, not tear them down. He is probably just parenting the same way he was parented without thinking about it, sadly. Try to realize that being who you are is OK and that you should be loved for that. You can't live up to your dad's expectations. I have known many people who have tried their whole lives and never found happiness. Love yourself.

Sometimes being "weird" is ok and even good. Steve Jobs was weird. I can't say it's worked in my favor money-wise. I have learned to be an observer of the world and of people in a way that others don't. I have accepted the fact that I am different and I don't expect people to understand. Learning to love myself has taken many years and lots of work. I hope that you are able to do that sooner. Find your passion. Accept and love yourself. Life is awfully short to try to spend it being something you're not. I love weird. It may be harder for you to "find your pack" (like wolves), but you will. I don't have a lot of friends either, but there are a few people out there that are special just like you are and they need you too. Take time to get to know yourself, your likes and dislikes, what your goals are. Try new things and explore life! You are unique and that is good!!
I hate being the way I am and I've always wished I was different.
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Originally Posted by shortandcute View Post
I'm sorry that your dad has said that to you--he should not have said that, as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunatly, we older people forget what it's like to be younger, and that people do change as they get older. I sometimes get that way with my 17 year old daughter--and my sis has to remind me that my daughter IS acting her age; we older people just want our kids to act OUR age (when we don't even act our age half the time).
Ha! You can say that again. My step mom gets drunk like she's in college, I brought it up before and they got mad at me. She only gets drunk at parties (not a lot but sometimes).
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Originally Posted by Clara22 View Post
Hi HelloWorld 18
It is not fair for you to being told by your dad only negative things; perhaps he wants to help you and he does not know how to do it better. Do you have somebody you trust or appreciate that could give you an honest and balanced feedback? I am sure you have positive features to highlight, however, if you are a bit of a disruptive or impulsive person (many of us can be like that, mostly when we are very young) that characteristic does not allow seeing the positive in you. It is not impossible to solve, it is about paying attention to yourself, reactions, etc. But, in any event, it may be that your dad is wrong, that is why I was asking if you have somebody that you trust and can give you an honest and balanced feedback. As other people said here, you are young and will be changing according you grow up, but, in any event, if you can, try to see this as an opportunity to know yourself better and explore alternatives, in case that a little modification in your behavior is needed. Sometimes, we do not realize and we bother others with our reactions and that produces people leaving as aside. Once, during college, a professor made a couple of observations about how I treated my classmates. As it was during an oral exam I was very upset and kept crying for days. Another professor in the tribunal of the oral exam was upset, too, and he and the other professor had a kind of a fight for me. My mom wanted to protest before the ministry of education, as the admonishment was very painful to me. After all the pain passed, I started to think about what the professor had said, leaving apart the circumstances and the ways of the professor. At the end of the day, I understood she was not totally wrong. I was sometimes cocky or patronizing, and this may have been my way to compensate for my disability. To some people, that characteristic of mine could be damaging, hurting their own self-esteem. Then, I started to pay more attention to my behavior, making sure to be careful how to express my ideas, giving room for others to express themselves, as well, etc. Hope I changed for good. But, again, in the beginning I took the criticism in a bad way, the professor had chosen a bad moment and gave me an unwanted feedback in a bad manner, but, anyway, she was right at certain extent. It took me some time, but I finally saw this criticism as an opportunity to improve myself and I believe it was for good. I wish you the best, and please, keep posting!
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Default Jun 29, 2013 at 09:00 AM
  #8
Hey, you know I've felt this way plenty of times that everyone complains about who I am what I do, this and that. Forget them, there's nothin wrong with being who you are. I'm very weird and if someone doesn't accept me for who i forget them! Don't change. Of Course if someone if giving constructive criticism you should listen but you be the one to decided What you want to change not them.
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Default Jun 29, 2013 at 09:11 AM
  #9
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Originally Posted by HelloWorld18 View Post
So apparently I'm really weird and annoying, but I don't see how I am. I get told this all the time. Whenever my dad talks to me about how I am, he has nothing good to say, he just talks about how immature I am and how I should act my age.

How do I stop being weird and annoying and how do I act my age? I'm 18, just turned, going to be a senior in hs this coming year
always remember this: you are not weird!!!
you are yourself! and that's the way it is, and there's nothing wrong with you! you're just going through a tougher phase. You shouldn't be all that worried about what others say. Just do it your way, the way you feel okay, and I'm sure you'll find your company don't you worry, there's nothing wrong with you! You're just sensitive. which is a positive thing in my opinion.

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Default Jun 29, 2013 at 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by HelloWorld18 View Post
So apparently I'm really weird and annoying, but I don't see how I am. I get told this all the time. Whenever my dad talks to me about how I am, he has nothing good to say, he just talks about how immature I am and how I should act my age.

How do I stop being weird and annoying and how do I act my age? I'm 18, just turned, going to be a senior in hs this coming year
When I was 18 I thought that I was weird too. I always had depression & anxiety, but that's not weird and neither are you. Eighteen can be a ruff age to go through. There's a lot of bullying and click-ish kids. Never give up!
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Default Jun 29, 2013 at 11:28 PM
  #11
i'm sorry your dad tells your negative things i'm weird and boring too. and i have.... almost no friends :/ i want a friend though, but when i do make friends, the friendship doesn't last. i don't know if it's because i'm not trying or what. plus, sometimes i don't bother to make any friends because i'm like, what's the point? or why bother. so sometimes i don't try making any friends. i was bullied a little in high school. and coming to the end of the term, some classmates will talk to me nice, then next term - we're no longer friends - they just used me. so i guess i'm afraid to make friends too. but i'm also kind of quiet and shy.

and i'm boring and weird.... like, i'm not into clubs and parties and all that. i prefer to stay home, watch tv, surf the internet and be with my parents. but you're still young, unlike me, i'm old - twenty four years old and i haven't even had a boyfriend! :/ (please don't judge me, i get enough of that in real life.) my co-workers and plenty people are omg you're old, time for you to get a boyfriend, etc, etc.... i want to stop being weird, i want to be normal and yeah.... it's hard being me.
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Default Jun 30, 2013 at 10:25 AM
  #12
I say, never stop being weird! I know how parents can be, i get the exact same thing from mine. Be yourself, and if that's what makes you happy, don't pay attention to them. I know you're probably still trying to find out who you really are in life, i know i am, but never stop being you, because that's the only thing anyone really has(: so what if you annoy them, parents just get frustrated sometimes anyway, as kids we don't realize that they have a lot to handle too.

My advice is be yourself, despite what anyone thinks, including family.

Best of luck(:
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Default Jul 01, 2013 at 01:07 AM
  #13
I think that maybe we feel weird when we try to join with people very different from us. I'm 63 and I've been weird all my life. When I found my niche-- the spiritual, this site, and AVEN, I was comfortable with others and they were comfortable with me. Sometimes people fit in more obscure areas and the important thing is to find what they are.
I hope you feel better soon
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Default Jul 04, 2013 at 04:59 AM
  #14
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i'm sorry your dad tells your negative things i'm weird and boring too. and i have.... almost no friends :/ i want a friend though, but when i do make friends, the friendship doesn't last. i don't know if it's because i'm not trying or what. plus, sometimes i don't bother to make any friends because i'm like, what's the point? or why bother. so sometimes i don't try making any friends. i was bullied a little in high school. and coming to the end of the term, some classmates will talk to me nice, then next term - we're no longer friends - they just used me. so i guess i'm afraid to make friends too. but i'm also kind of quiet and shy.

and i'm boring and weird.... like, i'm not into clubs and parties and all that. i prefer to stay home, watch tv, surf the internet and be with my parents. but you're still young, unlike me, i'm old - twenty four years old and i haven't even had a boyfriend! :/ (please don't judge me, i get enough of that in real life.) my co-workers and plenty people are omg you're old, time for you to get a boyfriend, etc, etc.... i want to stop being weird, i want to be normal and yeah.... it's hard being me.
Like right now, I have a great chance to make 2 new friends (who are girls) and all I'm thinking is, "don't mess this up. Don't act weird, don't act annoying" I'm truly worried that I'm gonna mess up in some big way. Even with current friends I've had nightmares (yes, actual nightmares) of losing them and their family due to something I did. I even worry that I will somehow drive away my "uncle" (someone who's extremely close to my dad and is like a brother) and his family.

Right now I'm really stressing about somehow having these two girls dislike me, hopefully they already don't, but I don't think I did anything weird or anything mean or anything like that.
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