[ThisWayOut]

I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I'm too far down. Nothing helps. This sucks.

[Poppy Princess]

I understand your feeling, love

[Rohag]

Somewhere along the way I set aside hope. I didn't give up hope altogether, I just didn't find it useful for coping anymore and put it away in my emotional storage. Maybe it will eventually make its way out of the attic, but it's not something I think about much.

[Vossie42]

I'm feeling much the same way. The depression isn't so bad, but dealing with medication issues really washes out any gains I've made. I've never felt better in my life, but it still isn't much more than just getting out of bed. I never knew that someone could suffer from depression for so long... I thought that there would be a time limit on this evil.

I agree with you on these things; medications all have their side effects and they leave
an acidic ash that is a problem.

I find boosting my supply of high quality vitamins, especially the B series, C, A, E,
and essential Omega fatty acids helps.

First, we've got to get the acidic levels of fluids down; "the lemon thing" will help do
that. And you know what that is: squeeze 2 lemons into about 4-5 oz of water and
drink it; if you aren't better in 4 hours, repeat the process. That calms the system
well for some of us. It might work for you. Give it about two days of the lemon thing
before you decide it doesn't work.

If you're successful with the lemons, use them thereafter only occasionally when you have low feeling tone.

They're actually known to be a wonderful detoxifier of the liver (and that often is
stressed by too many demands placed on it) and it lowers the acidity levels of
fluids and tissues.

If you can use it, it really is helpful.

[gracez]

I never see a light. Somehow I decide to hang in every day with all of you here

I'm in the tunnel with you.

[ThisWayOut]

She got mad at me last night for having no hope. She says she feels alone because I get lost in my little world. She just wants to feel loved. She doesn't feel like I care. I had nothing useful to give her, no platitudes to help her not feel so alone. It's impossible to give when you have nothing yourself. I could have lied and told her it will get better (and I think I eventually did)... but nothing came at first. She knows me because she knew where my head went with that - Just another thing I screw up daily, and more worthlessness. I couldn't make her feel better because I didn't believe any of the words passing my lips. I'm sorry I'm so difficult to live with. I'm sorry I don't want to do this any more. I love you because I keep fighting, and I'm still here. But I guess that doesn't count for anything. :sunk:

[winter4me]

Still being there Does count, it counts for a lot. I know what it is like to be unable to give someone you care for what they need...and to feel the burden of someone so worried for you in their way, sometimes a way that you cannot respond to...but being there is important.
Is there something you can do that does not require words? Something you think she could do that would feel more supportive for you and take some of the pressure to "feel better" off? It is difficult on both sides...but it is not a one way street, though many of us come to believe it is all on us, and the guilt can be tremendous, and destructive... my heart goes out, for you both, and I hope you keep on hanging in there. Somehow, I get a sense of caring...love...and an undercurrent of hope...

[herethennow]

I feel the same way too..