How can I help my depressed & suicidal boyfriend?

I'm new to this page and my hope is that I can talk to other people that are going through the same thing so that I can support my boyfriend as best I can through this hard time.
My boyfriend took some pills Friday night, this is not his first time doing this and he hasn't ever taken enough that his life was medically in danger but I knew it was a cry for help and he says things sometimes about how he wants to die. I decided this time that I was going to get police/ems involved. I called the police and they went to his house and he was taken to the hospital and then the next day was sent to a mental health facility where he's on a mandatory 72 hold. He is not happy and doesn't think he needs to be there. My hope is that he keeps an open mind and accepts the help and continues with treatment after he's released. My fear is that he won't.
I haven't been able to talk to him and I don't know if I should call him or let him focus on himself. I was able to get a note to him before he was admitted that just said how I hoped he would one day understand why I felt the need to call for help and that I knew he could get better and that I loved him and would do anything I could to help him. I just need help, advice, support, etc on how to be as helpful as possible to him b/c I know he's going to need it. He needs help and I hate that he was forced into it but I couldn't/can't risk the alternative if he didn't get help.
I suffer from depression and anxiety myself so I know somewhat how he feels but everyone is different and I've never been on this side of the depression. So I'm open to any help that I can get.

Thanks

The first thing is whether he admits he needs help or not. Only then can you attempt anything. If he isn't prepared to do that then nothing that happens to him will be your fault. This is very important. It will not be your fault.
There is a long list of help numbers and information at the head of this forum. Depression Resources.
Let him know you understand and that you aren't judging him. It may help if you tell him that you are also depressed. Don't push. Just be there.
I hope it works out

Hi there,

He needs to admit and accept that he needs help first and formost. Without that acceptance, there's not a lot you can do other that be there with him after he's done these things and support him with the aftermath. It's a lot like addiction - until you admit you need help, you can't really be helped. It took me a good ten years before I admitted I wasn't right and that I needed to seek the correct help.

It's a hard battle, but he needs to know that you will be there for him. Personally, I find it annoying when I'm in a depressive episode and people start telling me that they are depressed too. It makes me think that they are just saying it to try and make me feel better, which it doesn't. However, he may find this comforting. You can only try and see what happens.

When he does finally accept these things, you'll no doubt see a huge change in him. He'll more than likely feel like a huge weight has been lifted because he's not as alone anymore. Until then... Just hold his hand, comfort him, and be as empathetic as possible.

Hope this helps. It's obviously all subjective, and this is just how I feel when I'm in these moments.



jesuslovedtech

If you want to help your friend, you need to be near with him as often as possible. Now he needs companionship and support is very important for him. ask him what he fells, tell him more pleasant words, you can to select a funny films for him , to spend time with him, take care and keep.

Well I talked to my bf today, he called from the hospital. He sounded upset and he was and said it was b/c he didn't need to be in the hospital but b/c his ER file said he tried to harm himself and that he wanted to harm himself that now he was stuck at the hospital with people that actually did want to. I asked if he thought it would help him being in a place where people had the same worries, issues, problems and he simply said no. He is worried he's going to lose his job b/c he's missing work, although they know he's in the hospital. He is going to group sessions at the hospital but admitted it was only b/c he was trying to do everything he could to get released. I knew that forcing him into treatment wasn't going to go over well with him and now I'm afraid he's not going to trust me anymore and that he's going to shut me out b/c if he expresses his feelings to me he'll think I'll just call the police again and get him committed again. He's always been able to talk to me about how he feels and I've always been there for him and I am very afraid that's going to change.