[jegsu01]

I really thought I wouldmake it the whole day without hurting myself, but no. I triedto follow the plan I had set up with my therapist, but I only made it half way through. I did not make it to the library because my back was hurting from lifting boxes all morning. So I took a Lortab and took a nap. When I woke up my back was okay, but I wasn't feeling to up. I just wanted the feeling to go away so I cut myself three times. The thing is it only helped for a few minutes then I was hurting again.

I am so stupid to think one: that I am strong enough to make it through aday alone, two: that cutting would help and three: I am just a stupid person. I hate myself for this. Why can't I just stay safe?

This evening is another challenge. I am pretty much by myself again. What can I do?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by jegsu01

I am pretty much by myself again. What can I do?

Keep posting? I don't know if interacting here (or chatting) will help you feel less alone, but every post you make will be noticed.

Had you made it to the library, would that have reduced the SI/SH odds?

Keep posting and hang in there!

[jegsu01]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Keep posting? I don't know if interacting here (or chatting) will help you feel less alone, but every post you make will be noticed.

Had you made it to the library, would that have reduced the SI/SH odds?

I am not sure, but when I came home my parents would be home and that may have helped. On the other hand I have cut while they were in the next room and I had my door shut. So, in conclusion I am not sure if it would have reduced the SI/SH odds.

[Blegh.]

just look at this day in a positive way...
1. You made it halfway through the day without hurting yourself. Tomorrow try and go a little longer until you can go 24 hours without, and then go without it completely. Just tell yourself: today I will do better than yesterday! And if you do, then reward yourself. You just need to wean yourself off of your addiction.
2. You got some work done today. You lifted some boxes.
3.You didn't go to the library today, but you planned to. You had a plan and that is great! Maybe you can make another plan/goal to go tomorrow. Try and make plans to go out so you will forget about SI. You could talk to someone on the phone if you want to stay at home. Maybe take up a new hobby to distract yourself.

[don964964]

please don't do that to yourself
I keep getting reinjured and the depression of that hurts more then all the pain
keep talking and posting.
hugs

[Nobodyandnothing]

I like what Blegh said. Look at what you did do today and be proud of yourself. We all have big setbacks, but like that old time clown punching bag, we somehow find the strength to get back up. Please talk to your T again so you can fine tune your plan for the next time you are alone.

We are here for you. Peace
Nobody

[Cinema]

Well hurting yourself when you feel bad (physically or emotionally) becomes a habit over time, so your inability to stop isn't something to hate yourself over. Since it is a habit, try and break it like a habit, whatever you use to harm yourself with, give it to your therapist or parents and tell them to keep it away from you. Try and stay away from sharp objects. Keep busy and try to be around someone as often as possible. Good luck hun!