[burnout]

So, my partner has been suffering from panic/anxiety attacks and bouts of depression for a couple weeks now. He was started on a low-dose benzodiazepine which he claims no longer works, but I'm not sure. All we both know is that it makes him want to sleep all the time, which I understand, because I take clonazepam at night in order to fall asleep.

Anyway, the thing I'm confused by is his mood shifts. He can be happy, laughing, joking one night and the next day just want to sleep, barely talking, etc.

When he gets sleepy/quiet, he seems to have all but given up on life, and I’ve just about had enough of him basically avoiding any and all of life's responsibilities. I am getting real tired of being his mother when he just gets too tired to deal with life.

I get it. It sucks. But I suppose my type of depression, which just makes me numb, still allows me to deal. I cope. Sure, I've had days where I can't wait to go to sleep because I know tomorrow I won't feel this overwhelming black cloud of "nothing matters" above me (and it always is better the next day). But I have never just slept my day away due to depression.

Clearly, he isn’t able to cope like an adult (we're in our young 30s). I feel hypocritical, of course. But I really, truly get the feeling that he just says "meh, someone else will take care of it". His parents are still around too, which just makes it that much more easy for him to shy away from responsibility.

Before now, he had never avoided responsibility. He paid all his own bills, and even elected himself to go see a doctor about his panic attacks etc. But this "I will just sleep instead of tackle this issue head-on" thing is downright frustrating.

Right now, this second, we're on vacation. Paid, expensive, etc., and he's sleeping after breakfast as I write this, in our hotel room. Before this vacation, which we'd planned before he had his first panic attack, he'd taken a week off of work to basically do nothing. Now, we're doing nothing, but paying tons to do it.

We're supposed to be house-hunting right now, or at least enjoying the nice weather where we are. It's a purposeful vacation, but right now we're doing nothing.

Last night, he was fine. Day before that, fine. At least on the outside. I know it's easy to hide depression, I'm the queen of that, but this is just driving me insane.

Rant over.... sigh.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Burnout!

Originally Posted by burnout

...my partner has been suffering from panic/anxiety attacks and bouts of depression for a couple weeks now.

This is a new development, and he was stable beforehand, yes? It could be the emergence of a mental health issue, or it could be the onset of something else mimicking the effects of depression and unstable mood. Any way to get him to a doctor?

Please 'rant' as much as you'd like.

[online user]

I've always been told that GOOD life events can be stressful as well as bad ones....holidays, vacations, etc. So it may not be too surprising that yur partner has had an exacerbatiion while on vacation. And maybe leading up to it. And if a major life decision was in the works, choosing a future home, that could add to it. Doesn't make it any easier with which to cope, but more understandable maybe. Sorry you are having such a rough time--do come back and tell us how things are going.

Susan