[The_little_didgee]

Over the last three weeks I have been feeling heavy, tired/worn and sensitive. Sometimes, I cry for no reason and get very agitated that I just want to scream and yell. I also think about death a lot but I am not suicidal. Basically it feels like my soul is aching.

Shortly after I wake up the sadness and heaviness moves in. It seems to get better as the day goes on and tends to return before bed.

Life seems to be going well so I don't understand why I feel like this. Can one get depressed without having a reason?

[smilinside]

I think it's possible to be depressed when everything's going well and happy when everything's going wrong. Emotions stem from internal circumstances rather than external. It could be a physiologic response, or maybe there's something in your past that you've never really dealt with head on that's bringing you down now. Sometimes there are even things that have been blocked out by the mind because they were too painful to deal with and are now coming to light. I don't know the particulars of your situation, but if this goes on, you may want to see a therapist/doctor. Do you have any spiritual beliefs? If so, that may be helpful too.

[winter4me]

happens to me...wish i had answers

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Basically it feels like my soul is aching.

Seems to me that what you describe, encapsulated by the above sentence, is something unresolved that you are unaware of. Something deep, stressful, that you haven't disentangled. Maybe there is fear of facing it. Maybe your therapist can help. I find some of these things become clear over time, if you pay attention, be receptive to what's moving within your mind and emotions.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by smilinside

I think it's possible to be depressed when everything's going well and happy when everything's going wrong. Emotions stem from internal circumstances rather than external. It could be a physiologic response, or maybe there's something in your past that you've never really dealt with head on that's bringing you down now. Sometimes there are even things that have been blocked out by the mind because they were too painful to deal with and are now coming to light.

I was thinking some of my feelings may be due to navigating life without knowing I had a form of autism. I was diagnosed last year and have been through a lot since then. It has surfaced a lot of feelings of hurt and bitterness.

There is no trauma in my life except for school bullying.

Originally Posted by smilinside

I don't know the particulars of your situation, but if this goes on, you may want to see a therapist/doctor. Do you have any spiritual beliefs? If so, that may be helpful too.

My psychiatrist knows I am feeling this way. She did not say I was depressed. All she did was tell me to increase my SSRI that I am taking for my anxiety disorder.

Yes, I have spiritual beliefs. I am an Indigenous person and have been thinking of seeing someone for some spiritual guidance.

Thank you for replying.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by H3rmit

Seems to me that what you describe, encapsulated by the above sentence, is something unresolved that you are unaware of. Something deep, stressful, that you haven't disentangled. Maybe there is fear of facing it. Maybe your therapist can help. I find some of these things become clear over time, if you pay attention, be receptive to what's moving within your mind and emotions.

My ASD therapist has given me some homework to do that involves body sensations and feelings. I am realizing now as I am doing it that I am not very aware of my emotions especially the more subtle ones. It is possible some of the sensations are actually fear.

I am about to switch from a Biology BA to Neuroscience BSc. Maybe this has something to do with it.

Thank you h3rmit and winter4me.