[kittykat]

Here I am again. I aM really in the pits of despair. I love your warm posts and I feel good when you reply. But I feel it is hopeless. I am so lonely. At my age, I'm now retired, have a part time job at a theme park, which I was very enthusiastic about but now I really don't enjoy it.

Some many people are depressed and in a bad place. I wonder where is the miracle. One thing that got my attention was something CAMW said. You can't cure depression, only put bandaids on it. Not saying this is the reason for my downturn. I have been going through this for a long time.

I have just started back on Serzone and have been getting some good feeling a couple of hours after I take it but then it goes back into this horrid depression and hopelessness. I know it takes 3-6 weeks before the meds kick in. I am hanging on by a thread.

[SundaysChild]

Tie a knot in your rope and keep hangin', Hun. You'll make it! I know you will!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{KittyKat}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


"It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."

[kittykat]

Sundayschild

Hi: Thank you. Thanks for the darling kitty kat. That is so sweet, and he is being petted. Gosh, you guys are creative. I wish I still had one Thank you for caring.

[adieuolivaw]

Hi Kittycat: I tried several meds before I found one that worked, and that took so many months that I was quite discouraged. The wait was worth it, even though the initial 20 mg on the new antidepressant did nothing for me. The 40 mg worked, and then in a few weeks I had to step up to 60 mg. Now I have been on the 60 mg for a very, very long time. It continues to work.

I consider that this med (Celexa) is working for my "basic" depression, even though I seem to have periodic additional "reactive" depressions. I notice that, when the additional stresses that cause my "reactive" depression disappear, I return to the baseline where Celexa takes care of my basic underlying depression. So I consider the two types of depression to be very different animals.

Before my Celexa kicked in, I had to remind myself to be good to myself, to eat well, to do something every day that I especially liked, and to set the bar for performance low enough to give me some easy successes. We don't need to make depression worse by beating ourselves up!

I'm not blessed with the ability to work. If I were, I would choose to work and/or volunteer in places where my own special abilities would be useful. I never feel lonely when I'm feeling useful. Maybe your own special abilities are being wasted at your current job.

This may be the time to think about learning new skills --- that will bring you both pleasure and improve your financial future. A lot of retired persons just love selling real estate. I could see myself out there, breezing by in my silver bullet, determined to find a cozy home for my client.

I had a lot of plans before my memory and cognitive problems worsened. Not only have I had to modify them, but many of them are currently impossible. Enjoy what you have while you have it.

Today, however, you need to take care of yourself. When you're feeling better, I'll share with you what I do about loneliness.

Adieu

[kittykat]

Hi Silver Bullet

Thank you for your reply. I'm happy to know the Celexa has been working for you. What I wonder is how the docs figure out the drug combining. Of course, they have knowledge of the drugs they prescribe. I truly believe that our brain chemicals get "mixed up." I have recently been posting about starting back on Serzone, having very good feeling for a brief period of time and then plunging back into the darkness. I have had a day of feeling good all day today. Joy, Joy. It's like night and day. When you are in the pits of depression, you simply can't think straight and you are in so much pain. But when the medicine kicks in, it's a totally different story. Totally different outlook. So I pray this medicine continues to help and not poop out. Yesterday, I was so physically down, I couldn't get up to go to work and was not the least bit interested in it. Today I feel like a different person,( not manic though but just feeling "normal" is a gift) grateful that I have the job in this cool place and looking forward to the passes you get to bring your friends in, and looking forward to being a spectator watching the penguins and dolphins, etc.

This medicine has just to keep working, that's all there is to it. Although I am looking into volunteering in law enforcement. I used to be an RN, then medical transcriptionist, then the arthritis got to my fingers. I really, really, liked that job. So after experiencing such age discrimination (San Diego), I got a job as an armed security officer. Now they were really abusive. If I disagreed with something that my supervisor wanted me to do, he would take my gun. What a jerk. Anyway, I was not into allowing myself being abused.

So I'm really looking forward to hear back from you.

Love

KK