[schmatto]

Hi all,

I'm working my way through this online CBT program 'moodgym.anu.edu.au'
& firstly, was wondering if anyone else was doing this free program ,
& secondly was wondering if 'anyone' could help me with an exercise I'm doing

As part of the course Moodgym asks you to take note of an event that was associated with anger or distress.
"Write down the event, your interpretation of it, your emotions and your consequent behaviour. Then survey some other people (not just your closest buddies) ask them their interpretations of the event and how they would react. Ask them, for example, to respond as if the event had happened to them, to imagine they were in your shoes. Are the reactions all the same? Does this modify your interpretation of the event?"

That's what I'm asking for, some responses from other people please.

This is the event I chose: " On Friday night I had just gone to sleep when my wife barged into the room saying: 'You've got to come now, the door's stuck, we can't get it open.' So, I get up, annoyed at the way I was 'summoned' & discovered it was the washing machine door that was stuck with my daughter's work shirt inside [which she needed Saturday morning.] After an hour or 2 I got it open but I was really annoyed, not at the fact I was woken up to fix the door, but at the way I was woken & spoken to. I told my wife so, & she begrudgingly apologised [which seems to be hard for her] but I was still upset about it the next day, found it very hard to let go of my anger."

So, I'm just after a few other responses, how other people would respond if this had happened to them.

Thanks,

[Sch] matt.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Schmatto!

Originally Posted by schmatto

...I was really annoyed, not at the fact I was woken up to fix the door, but at the way I was woken & spoken to.

Your daughter needed a work shirt Saturday morning, and the possibility she might not have it in time panicked (?) your wife. I'm wondering if there's a story there in and of itself.

I have a low startle threshold, so such an awakening might have severely frightened and even emotionally paralysed me. My ideal self would have politely asked the wife to, in the future, wake me far more gently, explaining that an abrupt transition to wakefulness would degrade my ability to tackle the problem in the most effective manner.

It's commendable you went to that trouble for your daughter despite the jarring awakening.

Thank you for posting. I did not know about MoodGYM and have taken note of it.

[tealBumblebee]

I get summoned that way all of the time, and i'm almost always just as annoyed. I think i've summarized it (for me at least) feeling like there is no consideration that I may be doing anything with my life (whether I am or not) except anxiously waiting for the person who needs me to request my presence/services. It just gets old. I think they were consumed with that "in the moment anxiety" about the door, and i'm not exactly sure why a simple whole hearted apology could not be offered - thus, I think you had the right to be slightly annoyed.

[Morgansangel]

I tried it a few times because psychs kept telling me to do it but it didn't help me at all. But then different things help different people.

I'd have been scared and panicked at being woken that way and upset for a while

[schmatto]

Thanks Rohag, that was quite insightful

[Lost in this world]

just started today Thanks for the Link! I hope it will help me with my emotions.

[Harmacy]

I'd be angry at the way I was woken up. I'd have preferred it if I was gently woken and asked politely if I didn't mind helping out. And if there wasn't an apology for waking me or a thank you after helping I'd feel disrespected.

That said, I know that sometimes families take each other for granted and can often think that apologies and politeness aren't needed so I'd have to weight up the incident with other similar ones and think about things I'd done in the past where I may have behaved similarly and not realized.

Good luck with the CBT. I tried moodgym but didn't finish the course but I know from subsequent CBT that it really works for me when I put the effort in and do the work.