what is my life purpose?

I m trying so hard but refuse to change my life and move on again...

I feel my life will just repeat the pattern of one abuse after another again and again....

And what is the purpose of my life? what is life? why others so much enjoy life and everything, why I can not??

Sorry i wrote a lot those words again.

you know what, i think that at one point in everone's life they hit a wall. and they ask themselves what am i living for? i supose its deep inside of you. your desires, even if you dont think you have them, they exist.
-i believe that if you allow yourself to continue the abusive path then thats your choice. but its also your choice to not. mmm about the "enjoying life" well i see it in others too but i ask myself why. for me, personally i know why. but for you, maybe its about asking for help...(that has me)
im sry that you feel this way, no one should have to feel like this. personally id rather see smiles on everyones faces (including mine) but because that is not going to happen, we have eachother. ill be here if you need to talk.
-i know you've probably heard this a million times and it might sound stupid, but it has truth...."you can be anything you set your mind to", that includes (happiness too..and all the other mumbo jumbo). think about it.

I feel trapped....I do not know how to break through...
and often fell into a abusive trap, and pay responsible for those people who abuse me and take care of them...

it is v strange circle. They abuse me but finally i have to take care of them.

im sry..that your going through this. i wish i had magical words that would make you feel better. mmm sense i dont, maybe someone else can. do you think its possible to for you to go see a therapist? i dont know from experience, but i heard they do wonders

(((((((Littlefish))))))

My thoughts are with you!!

I have abuse in my past, I had a bf that beat up on me on a number of occassions!!
I too understand that it seems like a circle you can never escape, but you can!!!

You need to focus on yourself, you are the only person that matters (& children of course!!)
Do things you want to do & when you want to do them....
The only person you are reponsible for looking out for, is yourself!!!

You do have the power within to find what you are looking for Littlefish..... It just takes some time to bring it out.
I started by doing the things I like, even if it upset my bf.....
In the end is all about YOU!!!

You deserve that happiness that you see others enjoying & I know that you will find it....

Don't give up!!!

Hello...sorry you feel so down...breaking the chain of abuse can be done...maybe if you talk to a therapist...they can help steer you in the right direction of loving yourself first before you give to others...I am rooting for you and we are all here for you whenever you need support!

i agree with alot of what everyone else says.

the best thing to do is to take things one day at a time. i believe we all have a purpose in life, whether its to help others, to raise a family etc. we all go through stages of feeling that we dont belong and that we have no existence. been there myself.

we all have things in life that put a smile on our face, even if its watching a good comedy, listening to music etc. they are all passions we have and by exercising these makes us happy in the long run.

people around us who dont have as big a troubles that we do may seem happy but we dont know whats going on inside their head. when i leave to go out and to work i am a happy person, friendly, always laughing, making jokes. i know how to make people smile. 99% of these people dont know my past, so to them, i may be one of these happy people you speak of. but when im on my own i do get down. im not being false with everyone, i am being myself. but i leave my troubles at home to deal wioth out of sight of everyone else. this could just be what some people around you are doing.

if we have been abused previously, no matter what abuse it may be. we do seem to "attract" more int he future. its because we grow strong against it and unfortunately there are people in life who envy strong people, so they target them to try to make them weak, it gives them satisfaction. that is the reason abusers do this, to gain power and satisfaction from hurting somebody. and this is why someone who has been abused int he past gets it later in life, whether people know you have been abused previously or not. you still gain that strength that people dont like. survivors of abuse are strong, and to others that can be a threat. it shows they dont have power over you or your emotions so they will try to defeat you. its an unseen strength that we humans pick up on sub-conciously, no matter how you act. it takes more strength to be able to stand up and deflect the abuse/abusive behaviour away from you, but you will learn how to do it. then you will lead a happier life because people wont be upsetting you anymore.

keep up the good work and stay doing things that put a smile on your face, even if it makes you mile for a second, its still a smile.

you will realise your purpose in life soon enough, when you are ready to achieve it. good luck for that moment.

simon

sweetie.. all I can say is that for me.. one day I chose to believe that I was worth more than the way I was being treated....

I decided that I would respect myself if nobody else would.. and I refuse to allow anyone to abuse me again... once you have been there.. you know more of what you want to allow or not...and you tell yourself you deserve so much more...we all deserve to be happy and enjoy life...
Sometimes we might have to remind ourselves of that over and over until we believe it..

You will be in my thoughts....Faith

Littlefish, you will always have a purpose, even when you do not see it.