[IndieVisible]

I've been told I get depression. I honestly am not sure if I can say what it feels like. I can identify anxiety all too well. But depression, not so easily. It's been described as the blues, feeling sad, I can not even tell what that is. It may sound crazy to some of you. But even when I lost my son in a drowning accident and ended up hospitalized for "depression" I can't say what I felt was actually depression. It was more anger and void and hurt. Is that depression? Please feel free to hop in here and describe how your depression feels like to you as if you were trying to describe a color to a blind person. Thanks in advance!

[pegasus]

Like a huge heavy rock on top of you where you are unable to express anything and the world is coloured black...

[wiretwister]

For me it is a complete loss of caring. Not caring about self ,family ,finances anything.. Thank god my wife is keeping the world turning.

[worthit]

Apathy,loss of interest in everything. Black.Once I lost seeing in color for about 3 weeks. Pain,the whole body hurts. Can't communicate, can't hardly move.

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[Pierro]

For me it was a numbness that made me not care about anything or anone especially myself. For a long time I didn't believe that I was depressed. My doctor said I was but I didnt believe him. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I can't imagine what that has been like for you. Best wishes.

I think you summed it up well. Anger, void, hurt. Black.

[Mrwings101]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Like a huge heavy rock on top of you where you are unable to express anything and the world is coloured black...

I agree with this feeling.

[Grey Matter]

I feel like a void. Like my bones have been hollowed out and my body cannot feel. I get exhausted. I fall silent. I hide away. It's my monster.

[tealBumblebee]

I've never been diagnosed with depression (one pDoc suggested manic depressive and current t says I have the signs/symptoms but i'm just letting you know "i'm not official"). But in my experience, my depression is having a lot of emotions and becoming overwhelmed and eventually numb.

I can be with a group of friends, all having a good time. And one (just one) little comment can make me feel like they don't really like me, they're just putting up with me.

I start to stress out easily and tasks become so overwhelming that I can no longer do even small things in an appropriate time.

I get really snappy at other people just because "I don't feel like being bothered"

I want isolation or I want to be around someone (anyone) a lot. (Not always the best coping mechanism).

And my most common sign (which is actually admirable to some people) is my lack of caring about anything. Things that would, should, stress the common person out, I'm usually like "You know what? Just fudge it. i'm over this."

[Hope-Full]

For me, depression is many things:
*being in a room full of people and feeling completely alone (even though said people are friends)
*no emotions whatsoever - a void that is filled with a constant sadness, melancholy, etc
*loss of interest in life, but no energy to do anything about it
*sometimes, before I hit the depths, all I want to do is cry, and I often do - when I get so deep into my depression is when the emotions disappear
*getting out of bed is hard, impossible at times, as is taking care of basic needs - showering, eating, etc

If it lasts a day or two, I don't know that it's technically depression, supposedly (and please someone correct me if I'm wrong) depression is categorized by episodes lasting multiple weeks, or recurring episodes spreading over months.

[IndieVisible]

I want to thank every one for their replies here, please keep them coming. Why is this important? Because I think depression is often misunderstood or ignored or considered some thing else. By all of us describing exactly how it feels to each of us, it is not only good for us but also for any one else out there seeking more information about it.

I would just like to add, some one once said depression is like a storm that comes and covers the sun with darkness and no sooner does it come but it also passes the same way. That's a pretty nice way to describe depression I think. A storm or darkness that passes over us.

We all know what depression is like for us, but isn't it interesting how we each describe it?

[oliamble]

It also feels like falsly laughing in order to act normal or to make someone happy (like your kid, sming and laughing at the park to make him believe you are happy too), at work (laughing with co-workers about a joke or situation to fit in and pretend you are normal)...

at home no need to fake it (lack of sleep/insomnia), not wanting to do any sequences of tasks, such as (getting up going to buy something (example groceries), going to best buy to look at electeonics, then taking kid to the park, then going to Barnes and noble to drink a hot chocolate, reading an e-book and so on)). Sometimes people with depression don't want to do any thing, we pretend to be happy or ok, when we are not, we worry too much a out the tomorrow, about the what Ifs and so on.

That is how depression is like from a surviver of depression (me). And sometimes it gets worse in certain people where they may even consider suicide as the only way out of this pain (thanks God I have never gotten to this point, but have been close to). Hope all of our feedbacks help you understand what depression is like from testimonies of sufferers like me.

[dandylin]

A weight, a dead weight. A boulder that sits on top of your chest and is so big that you can't see around or past it

[Samanthagreene]

It's like someone shoved an anvil in your chest and then hung a curtain between you and everything you care about in life. It's walking around all day wanting to cry or hurt yourself because you don't know what to do. It's caring so little that you forget why you ever cared. It's kind of not fun at all.

[@nonymous]

Well...let's see...there is exhaustion, insomnia, hypersomnia, suicidal ideation...it's like viewing the world through a grey lens. HTH.

[A Red Panda]

It feels like I'm drowning. Like no matter what I do, I can't even tell which way is up. It's like there is everything around me.... but all it's doing is smothering me, because I'm not a part of it, and I can't reach anything because you can't exactly hold water in your hand. It's caring a great deal, but not being able to save myself or anything else that's around me. After a while.. you just give up and let the water do what it wants with you.

[Lost in this world]

Like a shadow that haunts you and torments you!

[shamon86]

For me, it's like being stuck in a pit that you can't find your way out of. No one can save you and you can't save yourself. Mine gets physical sometimes where I get a very intense heart ache (not heart attack) all I want to do is curl up in a ball and make it go away. Not caring about anything at all and being tired all the time.

[IndieVisible]

Yes, for me it's mostly despair and or apathy, or a hopelessness, a void that can't be filled.

[ErinM]

Like walking around with a dark cloud over you, but just over you. You can see that other people are not under the same cloud - that over there it is sunny, but when you try to walk over there, it is just as dark - the cloud follows you.

[Grey Matter]

There's just a lot of pain that cannot be described.

[Arha]

I know I am depressed
When everything requires a huge effort, and seems completely futile.
When getting up and getting dressed is a mammoth task: actually finding and selecting clothes is more than difficult, and takes hours and is pointless as all it does is add to those that will need washing.
When talking to people I fake interest, pretend I have something on so I can't meet them, and slump back into apathy when they are not there.
When hours can pass without me really noticing anything other than my worthlessness.
When I can sleep for more than 12 hours a day while doing no exercise.
When the strongest things I feel are despair at myself, and dull anger at those who think suicide is unreasonable, when it seems a valid choice to me.

[herethennow]

guess to outsiders, i try to explain it this way: "take a day of your life where you've felt so down... and then try imagine feeling that everyday."

[amoeba86]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

I've been told I get depression. I honestly am not sure if I can say what it feels like. I can identify anxiety all too well. But depression, not so easily. It's been described as the blues, feeling sad, I can not even tell what that is. It may sound crazy to some of you. But even when I lost my son in a drowning accident and ended up hospitalized for "depression" I can't say what I felt was actually depression. It was more anger and void and hurt. Is that depression? Please feel free to hop in here and describe how your depression feels like to you as if you were trying to describe a color to a blind person. Thanks in advance!

I don't really think feelings depression are different for person to person It's pretty objective in terms to how it makes you feel. It's usually feeling really sad for a prolonged period of time without any specific reason. If there is a reason like a loss of a loved one I doubt that's actually depression because there is a specific reason and the mind needs time to heal from the incident. However if the sadness and empty feeling lasts too long (more than 6 months) and you have a hard time functioning then doctors would diagnose you as having major depressive disorder. The feelings of depression are just mind numbing and horrible it always felt like my brain was on fire or "blocked" your whole mind and body aches and simple tasks are hard to accomplish. In my opinion it's even worse than anxiety since anxiety tends to come in short bursts and can be medicated fairly easily with benzodiazapines.

For me depression is a bottomless pit. Black, empty, heavy, hopelessness. I dont care about my well being, I dont feel anything but dark.

Its not always that bad, when its mild its apathy and isolation, my thoughts are negative and I feel worthless. Usually when the depression is mild the anxiety is worse for me.