[XserenityX]

It's becoming difficult to deal with school because the crowds are freaking me out already. Add in my sudden want to not talk to people or see people and things get more difficult or me. Lately I just haven't been talking to anyone, I swear my vocal cords are going hoarse from lack of use. And I have this lock in thing happening soon but I can't decide if I should go or not.

On one hand it's a lock in and it's supposed to be fun and a lot of friends will be there.

On the other hand, being in one place unable to leave doesn't sound too fun. Especially when lately I've been breaking down crying randomly. And my depression is always worse at night.

Plus I'm shy and no one really notices I'm there or talks to me. So I'll be sitting alone all night probably.

It's a contradiction really. I feel so lonely that I want people to be with, but actually hanging out with them seems so hard and terrible and tedious. I don't wanna have to keep up the facade that I'm not depressed right now.

Even school work is harder than it should be. I can't concentrate on it. I've often thrown my books because I couldn't understand something we've already gone over because my head was fuzzy and confused and slow.

I really just needed to vent about how my depression is making school even harder to deal with.

[Rohag]

XserenityX, does anyone supervising the "lock in" know about your social anxiety? You might end up enjoying your time, but in the event your anxiety reaches panic levels, a group leader who knows what's up with you will be an invaluable resource.

Just knowing you have an ally there may keep the anxiety in check.