So afraid

I have the feeling something bad is going to happen. I don't want to commit suicide but I feel I have to. This is not a goodbye message by the way. I'm not planning anything. I just feel desperate.

I feel like it's all going to end. I tried calling a hotline but it did nothing to make me feel better.

I know that feeling you are talking about. The one where you just feel like something bad is going to happen. I hate that feeling. Nothing bad usually happens, but that feeling can sure mess up your day.

I can't even remember the last time I was happy anymore. There's no relief.

I think I spent 30-40 years feeling like that, but now I am quite happy--therapy and meds did the trick. Hope you can take things a day at a time until you reach that point. Please believe it could just be possible.

"I want to leave, but the world wont let me go."
I know the feeling, and it's awful. You don't want to die, but you feel like your options are slowly depleting.

It's great that you reached out for help. That is really brave. I never could. Please know that we are here for you no matter what, okay?

It seems you have a sense of impending doom that has you feeing desperate and hopeless. I am sorry that you are struggling so much. I was once in your shoes. Life was void of any hope whatsoever, but I held on for some reason. then the day finally came, the right antidepressant and therapist and it was like that magic wand I had been looking for all those years finally materialized. so there is hope poppy. don't give up. work with a pdoc and stick with it till you find your miracle too.