[bluedolphin92]

My parents seem to love to do this. Just ask me, completely out of the blue, "Are you sad?" It annoys me to no end. Especially because they seem to have the uncanny ability to ask me that on my better days which just reminds me that no matter how I feel in the moment, my depression is still there. Anyone else have similar feelings?

[Astridetal]

I can definitely relate to this. It's annoying because people seem to see you as your disorder not who you are.

[Grey Matter]

Yup. Not to mention that people automatically assume that depression = sadness. Depressing can make you emotionless, over emotional, etc. It isn't one thing. I hate when people ask me this out of the blue because there are so many other ways to ask how you are.

Like, the very obvious "How are you?"

[widowlost]

No one cares about my feelings. On occassuon I get a ''what's your problem'' Or I'm so sick of u sleeping. all the time
If i do say how i feel I get the drama word thrown at me
I usually just keep my mouth shut.

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

Yup. Not to mention that people automatically assume that depression = sadness. Depressing can make you emotionless, over emotional, etc. It isn't one thing. I hate when people ask me this out of the blue because there are so many other ways to ask how you are.

Like, the very obvious "How are you?"

Bulls eye! People do indeed associate depression with just feeling sad or down in the dumps. My depression usually takes me to apathy and total void. And yes it can take me to really deep bounds of feeling sad too. So those who know I get depressed always ask me how I'm feeling or why I look sad. The think is I don't always feel the way my face suggests. I can look sad and simply be in the middle of a deep thought, or I can be smiling trying to cover up my anxiety or anger or depression. It bugs me too. I just tell them I'm ok, if they say I look sad or mad, I say it's a curse I always look like that and smile then they stop.

[bronzeowl]

Not to mention that people automatically assume that depression = sadness.

I just got done trying to explain to my sister that they are not synonymous but I think I lost her at serotonin. So many people use the two as synonyms for one another and I feel this is often part of why people think we can just 'pull ourselves out of it' so easily. Depression is definitely far more than just sadness. Often, for me, it's nothing more than emptiness. I literally feel like nothing more than an empty shell. In those moments, I feel no emotion. Not even sadness. Sadness is just a symptom of depression. It is definitely not depression.

I get asked all kinds of questions that bother me. "What's wrong?" which seems innocent enough but it's the way it's asked that bothers me. (As though they expect me to be upset about one thing rather than simply not knowing what's wrong) And heaven forbid I don't answer or say "I don't know". Then the reaction I get is never pleasant. I'll get them complaining about me always seeming angry or always being 'sad'. It gets tiring. And yes, there's the "Are you sad?", too.

I've gotten to a point where I just ignore the questions. Because it seems like no matter how much I try to explain that I don't know, I'm just wasting my breath and making myself blue in the face.

Aye, there's the "You look rough" comments, too. Those are probably the worst for me. I know I do. I don't need 100 people pointing it out.

One of the most poignant memories I have about me and my dysthymia is when I used to look back over my school pictures and wonder who that sad girl was staring back at me.

Most of those pictures were Kindergarten through 5th or 6th grade, and one in particular is still vividly etched upon my mind ... I want to just reach out and hug that pitiful looking child.

In Jr. & Sr. High I learned how to plaster on that fraudulent "All Is Well" smile ... The one that helps us deny that anything is wrong in our lives? Yeah, that one.

I still do that today ... And feel I'm betraying myself when I do. However, it gets me through the day without too many intrusive inquiries, and when I'm at home alone or with my therapist I let the way I'm really feeling come out.

Anger, Tears, Sadness, Grief ... All the stuff I had to choke down back then ... I no longer have to choke it down now ... I may have to put it on hold for a bit, but I shall never deny the fact that they're there ever again.

[Muppy]

Originally Posted by widowlost

No one cares about my feelings. On occassuon I get a ''what's your problem'' Or I'm so sick of u sleeping. all the time
If i do say how i feel I get the drama word thrown at me
I usually just keep my mouth shut.

I was particularly touched because I sense such loneliness there. If you sleep and someone asks you why you sleep so much...there's a quick answer...I'm tired. But your statements of being called a drama queen (my words) are harsh. I wouldn't want to talk to people who thought it was all drama.

You haven't given much personal information and I think there's a good bit you're not ready to talk about yet. Remember, we'll be here when you're ready.

[IndieVisible]

Yup this is exactly why I don't tell any one I don't have to about myself. I made the mistake of telling a supervisor who I got along really well with, she would tell me stuff she shouldn't have. She confided in me as I had a leadership position under her and we often talked candidly in private. Well she would call me in her office every once in awhile and just ask me if there was some thing wrong and any thing I want to talk about. Now that she knew a little about me she felt she understood me better. She meant well I know but it really got annoying fast. After that I learned never tell any one I work with any thing personal.

Nobody understands depression except those who suffer with it. It's like trying to describe the color red to a blind person.

[bronzeowl]

Nobody understands depression except those who suffer with it. It's like trying to describe the color red to a blind person.

Exactly. That's why, often, it's easier to talk to someone who, also, suffers it.

[Grey Matter]

Originally Posted by bronzeowl

Exactly. That's why, often, it's easier to talk to someone who, also, suffers it.

Yup to all of the above. It's ridiculous that we are the ones with the disorder, yet the stigma makes those who do not have it, or any other mental illness, feel as though they have some major understanding of it and use it passively when they're sad. "God, I am depressed I can't go shopping today." I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that. It's pathetic. If that is what depression is, please, feel free to trade with me.

[IndieVisible]

I'm so depressed I can't decide where to vacation at this year! lol

[Dionysius]

Originally Posted by widowlost

No one cares about my feelings. On occassuon I get a ''what's your problem'' Or I'm so sick of u sleeping. all the time
If i do say how i feel I get the drama word thrown at me
I usually just keep my mouth shut.

No-one can understand how it feels to be depressed, mostly non-sufferers don`t believe it exists and that we are attention seekers, in a perfect world people would have endless compassion and patience. When I feel down I avoid company, I need to be alone and I turn my phone off. Nothing anyone says helps, cliches such as "cheer up" can make it worse. However, I hope you feel better soon, take care, Dionysius.