[don964964]

I don't know if I can post this.
yesterday I was stuck between two flooded washes for 5 hours , not that I cared about it much that happens this time of year flash flooding.
today I woke up still drizzling rain ok I love rain . my daughter did the normal morning text I love that . but as the first hours went by today
my depression my sadness my hopelessness everything became so over whelming in my head I started crying uncontrollably and decided to just do it.. I lost my faith just over a year ago . but in this lost state of emotion I ask the lord for help .. in my head what about the dog ? go in the house ... by the way is totally unlivable now has to be torn down..
I am still unable to control my emotions I open the plastic tub that has my things in it and lift out the bible still asking for help , mind you I am ready to do it . and I just randomly open it and out falls a picture of my granddaughter .. that's why the voice said that's why ! understand it will destroy her if you do this . so here I am telling this. still crying but I know I can go on some how I can go on some how I can go on some how.......

[gayleggg]

I'm so glad you found a reason to go on. And you are right, you have to be there for your granddaughter. You have to think outside the depression and you did by considering her reaction and how it would hurt her. The crying will subside and you will go on. You are stronger than you think.