Don't want to be an adult

I don't want to be a grown up anymore. No credit cards, no bills to pay, no jobs. I sometimes wish I could go back to that time. I know that stuff will always be there, but at this point I'm ready for someone else to take over. I'm so tired. All I want to do is lay in bed all day. I'm not feeling as bad as I was before, not since I've started taking my meds but I'm at a point where I just don't care. Let the depression win so I can stop fighting. It isn't worth it anymore. My T says we've made progress since I started seeing her since Dec of last year, but I can't see it. I don't have the energy to put in the work to make a difference right now, I guess I just thought that all of this would change for me. All of my bills and my constant worries are still there, my job is only making my depression worse and now I'm looking for a new one. I've tried everything to change departments but no one will interview me because of my performance. They WILL fire me it's just a matter of time and how poorly I do. I went out on short term diability earlier this year and I'm waiting to hear back from my T to see if she thinks it's a good idea again. I can't keep doing this everyday.

Long-term personal observation: Mental health professionals frequently harbor a "progress bias"; they are prone to see progress where there is none. Have you challenged your T on her assessment?
This is truly scary. You see your own decline and the monster is coming no matter what you do. (At least, that was my experience.)

I do not know what to say, Shamon86. In my case when it became clear I was headed for a crash, I tried to prepare as soft a landing as possible. I do not know what that may mean in your unique circumstances.

No I never challenged her about the assessment. I don't want to "de value" her job and the help she is to other people. I've told her before that I was sorry that I haven't been able to do anything;she said that if all I needed to do was go there and talk then she was happy to listen. I honestly love my T and she tries to help, but she knows I have no energy. She told me once that when I'm like this she knows better then to try to go over techniques and stuff because I won't take them seriously (which she's right about). I can't see anything clearly right now so maybe she can see something that I can't.

I feel the same way. I've told my T that we haven't been making any progress and he thought we were. I also was on short-term disability earlier and was looking into it again. But I can't lose this job, it would be impossible for me to find another. I'd say, just try to keep your job for as long as possible. Is it worth it? The hell if I know.