[revank]

I have been wanting to die for a while. I have not been suicidal but, I have been hoping and praying to the universe that I would die somehow. Car accident, bombing, idk whatever. The past few days I have been very tired of waiting for the universe and I keep planning out something and then my dog comes to mind. I love this dog like a son. He is the love and light of my life and every time I think of a plan, I remember that I'd be leaving him and I can't do it. I've been raising him for almost 5 months now and I can't get over how much I love him, it's a joke with the guy I'm sorta seeing that there's no room left for anyone else in my heart and that will have to just be okay with him.

That sounds all good that he keeps pulling me back but, maybe this is crazy but I find myself getting angry. Not at him, just in general that he keeps ruining it. I do not want to live life anymore but I just can't leave him, it's frustrating...

I'm sorry if this is crazy, it's just what I'm feeling...

[Nerak67]

My kitties keep me going. I could never abandon them.

[don964964]

ya know 9 years ago or so my wife finds this lil puppy in the middle of no where , she has tears running down her cheeks an says we bringing him home , she came to regret that decision for years as he was so pushy .. but she spoiled him everyday .
and now that she has passed , and the winds have taken our home , an we live in a old camper ,, he is as depressed as me maybe even more so.. every one is gone its me an him
he has saved me from countless potential snake bites , he is so afraid he will be left alone he has followed me miles away ,,, so me too but what about him ? love is where it is an life is a never ending torcher ....

I think I took my meds twice today lol

love is all we need an need to give

[bronzeowl]

You're not crazy. My dog is the only thing I'm hanging onto anymore, so while I can't say I get you completely, I do understand where you're coming from. Sometimes, having that "one" thing isn't necessarily a bad thing.

My horse saved my life and kept me going when I thought I couldn't. He has completely changed my life that's for sure <3

You keep on fighting for you dog. It's not crazy, it's perfectly logical. Dogs are a companion, and loyal. They know when you are sad, and they have their own special way of cuddling you when you are sad. My dog just licks me to death I moan about my dog a lot, but I love him to bits! And every time I feel like dying I cuddle him until I feel safe again. It reminds me that although he is a dog, he would miss me and he would be sad. I have lost count of the amount of times I have cuddled him crying, wanting to die, and saying goodbye to him just in case I did do something... And then in time I calm down, he just lies there and lets me cry until I stop and then he looks at me with his head cocked to one side looking concerned before he licks me