[unfuntionablytired]

Admittedly , im very apathetic and i can see how that contributes to my lack of a life at all. Im not saying social life, as if the number of people you associate with counts for your quality of living, i just mean life overall in general. Every-single-day i do the exact same nothing and i dont even remember the last time i remembered the date. Every day runs into the next because its contents are so inevitably the same.
I wake up to my dad getting ready for work around 6am. I rack my brain to death trying to fall back asleep , but usually thats it, once my eyes flash open im up.
I lay in bed and listen to life going on outside. My brothers waking up around twelve. My brothers girlfriend taking the dogs out. I play guitar to pass time if i have the motivation in me. Time passes,until around four o clock when its quiet because mostly everyone left to do something whether it be my brothers at the gym, my little brother skateboarding, my brothers girlfriend out at lunch. I look at the clock and go back in my room until my dad gets home. He comes in my room to say hi, and then gets on the couch and falls asleep until 7 and goes to the gym until 8 or 9. My day is over and i start all all all all all all all all all alll all all all all over again.

My only position in this house used to be cleaning, until my brothers moved back in and began shedding pubes and dog hair all over everything so i just let it dirty up now. My neighborhood is to ghetto for me to leave the house alone and my relationship with all my siblings is too irreparably weak for them to take me anywhere excluding the fact we have antonymous interests.
Twice a week i have school at the learning center at the mall. Its mostly for college kids so i cant meet anyone my age there. Im 16 . I dont like concerts or heavily crowded place. I hate the mall to death. Ive only found one teenager in my entire lifetime who had any similarities with me, the same depression medication. We were best friends but were ripped apart by her desires to fit in which were un-achievable when hanging out with analytical me. She moved to New York and ive been alone ever since. That was last Christmas. I have spoken so so so so so so so little since then , due mainly to the fact no one has even a faked interest, that now i really have become smart. (in a non-conceited way) My intellect really does surpass that of every teenager ive ever spoken with. So far that i cant find it in me to fake an unrelateable friendship. I just have the thought in my head that somewhere out there theres another person that actually does think like me. Because what i think on a daily basis, and what influences my daily desires and catatonic state, is what i and my former friends three years ago would have considered a "deep thought". Now ive paved my mind permanently to that level of depth and have lost interest in small daily conversations. I dont care what you did yesterday, or what your boyfriend said, or which guy you ****ed at a party. I just cant pretend that i do. So in reality, whats out there for me to do .. tomorrow? I cant expect anyone to pop into my life! and chances are im just going to wake up and do the same thing. Probably peep on this website towards the end of the day when i realize that once again, nothing has changed. It makes me want to fill my daily void with petty teenage things like, get a lip piercing or look for a job. But I CANT. Thats not realistic today and its not going to change tomorrow. I just want tomorrow to be different from yesterday and today and everyday. I want to not HAVE to type what im typing not only because i'll have someone to say it to, but because il no longer be occupying this reality. I want to look at this post tomorrow and say, sucks for her. Lucky thats not me. BUT it is me. And im still here. And im gonna close this laptop that i never use for anything other tha this stupid purpose and im gonna restlessly stare into this dark room alone until i wake up tomorrow to do the same thing. My buttbone is sore from doing nothing other than this. sitting. Im getting real worn out.This seems unhealthy for a teenager. Im pretty sure they are supposed to at least fill their weekends. But then again, that could be a myth.

[atomicc]

Hey now, I have a lip piercing! :P Although in all honesty I did get it at 17..
I don't think getting a job is "silly teenage thing" since it's pretty important for adult survival. Why not look into getting a more rewarding job or volunteer opportunities? You can perhaps work with under privileged kids or others that are in need of some help. Jobs like that use your intellect and also help you feel like you're making a difference.

[unfuntionablytired]

Originally Posted by atomicc

Hey now, I have a lip piercing! :P Although in all honesty I did get it at 17..
I don't think getting a job is "silly teenage thing" since it's pretty important for adult survival. Why not look into getting a more rewarding job or volunteer opportunities? You can perhaps work with under privileged kids or others that are in need of some help. Jobs like that use your intellect and also help you feel like you're making a difference.

heehee i know sorry, i honestly want a lip piercing really bad too . And a jobs not necessarily silly, but nearly impossible where i live. There isnt a soul out here thats not looking for a job and if i landed one it would be incredible. plus iv yet to get my workers permit. volunteering has the same problem, its too dangerous to send kids on the streets here to do anything. i like your advice though and i will wait for now, keep on waitin.