[otway]

For me each day is identical to the previous in a very sour way, I see no way out of this state, the moment I wake each time I get a shock that I am chronically lonely and absolutely nothing memorable will come of the day, the days seem to be fused together with emptiness , 2 or 3 years ago when i felt like this And i felt this aweful feeling i would pack my car, grab my tent and camping equipment and stay beside a river for a while fishing and hiking with my dog, it at least got my mind to feel somewhat better temporarily , but a breakdown in my life have recently led me to loss of job and then soon after my car licence, so now I can't escape this de ja vu feeling of loneliness and emptiness it's crippling it tears me to even smaller pieces, pieces which I'm not sure I will be able to ever pick back up and somehow continue on with my existence, can anyone else relate to this???

[optimize990h]

I can understand the grieving over losses.

The loss of self, loss of a job, and loss of freedom via the car.

It is a gradual progress of small steps to be repeated to try to get to a new path that will help you heal. I hope you find it here at PC and/or any other resources that is available for you in rl as well. Take care.

[LadyShadow]

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I feel this way too. I can totally relate.

All I can offer is hugs

[otway]

Depression is a terrible feeling to suffer alone, along I guess with any other illness for me it leaves me feeling like a zombie, physically alive but dead

Originally Posted by otway

Depression is a terrible feeling to suffer alone, along I guess with any other illness for me it leaves me feeling like a zombie, physically alive but dead

or existing, but not living if that makes sense- well it's the same sort of thing... you know you're alive but you can't figure out what you want, where you want to go, that sort of thing

i get the feeling of everyday being fused together too- it sucks!

what's worse for me too, is that i can't sleep... so all the days- in sted of being loads of little individual days, they are 1 big day... 1 big void of emptyness and lonelyness

[otway]

That's sad to hear shattered sanity, I have had insomnia before but back then I was working so at least got to get out of the house, it was different back then for me, have u tried getting an indoor hammock? The swinging back and forth is a great feeling I find to calm down before sleep or anytime really, get yourself close to a wall and when u slow down just push and your off again

Originally Posted by otway

That's sad to hear shattered sanity, I have had insomnia before but back then I was working so at least got to get out of the house, it was different back then for me, have u tried getting an indoor hammock? The swinging back and forth is a great feeling I find to calm down before sleep or anytime really, get yourself close to a wall and when u slow down just push and your off again

it never crossed my mind, thanks for the suggestion

maybe i will