I just need to talk about...stuff

Alright...so I've already told most of my story to other people, and I've posted something up here, but I feel that i should just tell "my story" more in depth. I'll just go over the things in my life that caused my depression and anxiety issues. So, here you go...

When I was a baby, my parents got divorced. I've known the life of switching parents for my entire life. My mom started dating a guy, whom I had come to be very close to. His daughter ( and his dog) became a part of my family, as my mom had gotten remarried when I was about five. I still saw my dad, and I was very close to my brother. But, even when I was in kindergarten and first grade and when I was very young, I was bullied and pretty much an outsider. I had a couple close friends, and things were pretty much good, because being the youngster that I was, I didn't really care about social stuff.
About two years ago, my mom and step-dad had gotten a divorce. I miss my step-dad, and my step-sister.
In 5th grade, my grandpa died. We still don't know exactly how he died. I wasn't super close to him, but he was still an amazing guy. My mom and my grandpa's wife were both hit really hard by this. My grandma became very irritable, and well, before all that my family has had a lot of "drama," and soon drama became a normal thing to hear about. I hate(d) seeing my mom and close family members get so stressed out about this.
One year ago, my dad moved across the country to California. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to see him very often killed me inside. I am very close to my dad. I'm also very close to my brother, who recently started college, in California. So now it's just me and my mom. I love her, I really do, but we fight a lot. Or should I say, she yells at me and I sit there wondering what the hell is wrong with me, and why I always screw things up.
Ok...so now I get into...even more personal stuff, at least to me, anyway. Ive always been a pretty accepting person of gay marriage-that type of thing. Recently, however, Ive found that Im not completely sure about what my "sexual orientation" is. I know, this may seem stupid, but It's just kind of frustrating to me. I guess I just want to be like other teens my age. I mean, I thought I was straight, but some things seem to be showing that I may be bisexual, but i am still not sure... So yeah...enough of that...

Ok...I guess I just needed to find some way to rant. Talking (or typing in this case) is kind of helpful, Ive found. Anyway, thanks for reading this.

You're the closest, most available target, yes? This easily may have more to to do with your mom than you.

Any plans to visit California?

I think your Mom is has problems. I am a mother so I can tell you that my children and my husband usually get some yelling. It is not acceptable but....we mothers have a lot to worry about. Sounds like she needs emotional support. As far as sexual identity part, A, I can't help you there, sorry

Yes, it's pretty much just been me and my mom for a year now. I know that she is just kind of a stressed/strict person naturally, because of some stuff in the past.
Yes, Im going to visit my dad and my brother this November, which Im very happy about

Yeah, I can imagine being a mother can be stressful sometimes I know my mother loves me, but I'm not sure if she really needs help or not. It's not really abusive, what she says, but it just happens so often that it really gets to me, emotionally.

Hi Izzyfg2000
Thanks a lot for sharing. Could you see what triggers her yelling? How are you at school, I mean, your performance? Are you happy with that? these are things that come to my mind but you do not need to respond.
BTW, when I was a kid, my mom was yelling constantly. My psychiatrist said my mom probably has an untreated anxiety disorder. It was difficult to live with her, when I moved out home we starting having a better relationship, although we did not fight often when I was a kid, I was suffering a lot for her yelling.
OK, hope you feel better soon ,please, keep posting