[ToeJam]

Well I had an interesting case of de ja vu last night so I’ll start with the context:

When I was in my teens and I first started suffering from depression I took to creative writing and just making notes and letters re how I felt. Well my mother was concerned and though she thought I was articulate, she asked me to stop and she didn’t want me to keep focussing on what she called depressive writing – that she thought the writing was a form of re-enforcement and was encouraging me to suffer more.

Well I stopped writing.. and stayed depressed anyway. I do think it knocked me back slightly as I love(d) writing but due to not wanting my mum to worry I essentially stopped until recently.

Well, I wrote 3 poems recently (2 of which are to do with the adventures of depression) which I’ll link below. I’m not sure if this is the realm of adolescents all over again, but as said I was stopped in my tracks before so perhaps it is a form of regression… not sure.

Trigger warning: These are about depression and the struggles of.

Alone

http://forums.psychcentral.com/creat...53-battle.html

The wife has read them and I started to get the same little lecture as I did many years back. I tried to express that I’m putting messages into the poems, that I’m putting my thoughts and understanding of depression into words… but she’d much rather I wrote about happy things like rainbows, bunny rabbits and marsh mellows :rollseyes:

I am quite heavily influenced by those close to me, their support helps but in some ways I think it stifles me to

I don’t want to be rude, but it would be lovely to eloquently say the right thing that they’d understand.

Talking out loud feels a bit unnatural to me at time and I rarely get the point across efficiently.

[gayleggg]

Loved ones find it hard to accept our illnesses are all consuming and that no matter what we do it always comes back to our suffering is in our thoughts always. That's the problem is it never goes away, at least for me. If I were to share some of my writing with my spouse or daughter, I'm sure they would have the same response as your mom and wife have had. I find it is good to get it on paper but not to share it, because it scares the s*** out of our loved ones. They havent been where we are and they can't comprehend what goes on in our heads. It is better to share it with those of us that have been there. Keep writing, if it helps you feel better.

[Fuzzybear]

[Rohag]

First the mother, then the spouse... You are correct: loving support is wonderful, but it's not without its own peculiar constraints.

Those two poems do not speak adolescence or regression to me.

Originally Posted by ToeJam

I don’t want to be rude, but it would be lovely to eloquently say the right thing that they’d understand.

From what I've seen of your creativity, finding that tactful eloquence is only a matter of time.

[PrairieCat]

Sorry, I do not know how to do this. I have tried to improve relationships with two sisters and failed miserably. I think it is because they are sicker than I am.