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#1
Nov 01, 2013, 07:48 PM
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It's my birthday today and I've spent the whole day trying not to cry and I don't know why. I just turned 18, and my birthdays have been really hard and emotionally draining for me since I was 15. I'm not pressured to do anything and my mom is really supportive and likes to celebrate/but will do what I want and I feel really awful for being so miserable because she tries really hard and feels bad and doesn't know what I want from her and I don't either because it's not even her at all.
But like, I feel really awful when people bring up my birthday but feel bad when people don't too? IT'S SO ******* STUPID AND ANNOYING. Just basically everything that someone can possibly do on my birthday makes me practically start crying. I just wish it didn't exist at all? Because I always feel really guilty and hate myself on my birthday and I hate how I act because I hate myself and then I want to cut and it's just a really awful day. I don't really know why I'm writing this. I guess I'm just ranting. |
 beloiseau
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#2
Nov 02, 2013, 01:17 PM
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Hello & Welcome, Maxisnthere. Please, rant as much as you need.
Are there other days besides your birthday that affect you this way?
__________________
My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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#3
Nov 02, 2013, 10:26 PM
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My birthday is Monday, and I'm dreading it too. I'm a twin so I have to pretend like everything is OK for my sister's sake. I feel your pain, it's hard to celebrate a birthday! I've had a hard time celebrating my whole life too. My good friend just told me to think of it as a new beginning, so I'm going to try to do that!
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
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#4
Nov 03, 2013, 02:21 PM
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Quote:
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 Rohag
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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