No signs of depression today!

[it_will_get_better]

Having a bad, bad day. Physical health not great. The depression is everywhere. In constant tears, feeling so weak.

[Fuzzybear]

[Martek]

Thanksgiving morning, already seems like it is going to be a horrible day.

[Bark]

I feel like my head is going to explode. I hate myself. It's not worth it to try. The stress is so overwhelming. Every step up you slide back down. And it's not even something important! No normal person would get this riled up about this. I want to be impulsive but I'm restraining myself. For what? So I can fail yet again? School is the only stable thing in my life right now and it's causing me untold stress and anxiety. But it's my fault for putting myself in this situation. Always is.

[healingme4me]

Really sorted through lots of the past, today. It's an enigma, to be present with the children, reflective and in communication about reflections. Hopeful.

Depression lingers. Cried this morning when talking to my husband about how scared and inadequate my bipolar disorder and fibromyalgia make me feel. Not having a good day, physically or emotionally. Should get out of the house but doubt I will - - except to check the mail. Don't want to go back to bed - - it's not even 11 a.m., but I'm so tired!

[Sadeyes3533]

My whole holiday has just gone down the drain I can't take this up and down anymore there is going to be that final downward spiral.

[tigerlily84]

The holiday blues have hit me, but I'm coping. Or trying to anyway. I managed to make it out to my dad's house for thanksgiving and I was able to enjoy myself a little at least. I had the excuse of leaving because I had work early this morning. My sister in law invited me over to her house for a get together tonight, but she lives rather far and I again have work early tomorrow. I feel a little guilty, but I'm just so tired, and it's nice and overcast outside! I want to curl up with a book and then take a nap.

[Rose76]

Since my s/o used to do all the cooking, it was a challenge for me to cook the turkey . . . but I did it. He's too mobility impaired now to cook like he used to. So I am forced to learn. To my amazement, I'm not doing too bad.

Home now and glad to be.

I've gone through some kind of significant recovery. When I'm having a depressed/anxious spell, I leave my TV on in the living room when I go to bed. It makes it seem like I'm not alone in the house. I haven't needed to do that lately. So I really am a lot better than I was.

I can't cope with the fact that there are no answers, there is no place to go for answers, and it's my fault that there are no answers.

I keep going from ok to depressed…I was ok until I started looking for jobs again. I'm afraid I might have to move (I absolutely love where I live right now…I might actually have friends and I know people here) or go get yet another Masters degree…because one obviously enough to get anything more than a job that everyone is qualified for.

[Bark]

I'm sick of mornings where I wake up feeling sick. I think I'm still going through withdrawal, although thankfully not the horrible kind.

Mood's been up and down. I slept early the other night, that helped. Got yet another extension.

Don't want to get up and go out, but I have to. I can't wait until the semester ends, but at the same time, I'm going to miss it.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Been feeling fine all week, except Wednesday when I came down with the stomach flu, that was awful. And except yesterday when I had to see some careers adviser who just had to point out my shyness. It's hard enough as it is being shy never mind people pointing it out and making me feel worse. I left the session feeling like I was about to cry. Now I'm just back to being miserable again, I hate this life so much

[healingme4me]

Melancholic, is sort of feeling light, this morning.

[Bark]

Ending up spending the day in bed. So much for "have to"'s.

I don't feel like doing anything but I feel like complaining about my problems to someone. I don't know why. I hate complaining about my problems. Part of me feels like hurting myself. But why? I really don't know.

I made myself start up some laundry. I don't feel like doing dishes or preparing food. Even easy stuff. Even ordering. I'm in the mood to feel worse about myself by making this a useless day that gives me more reason to hate myself which would make me less likely to do anything so....

After this post, I'm going to wind down whatever online chats I have open and not start any new ones. Basically isolate myself for the night. Because it seems all I want is a pity party, and I hate that. And I've been feeling like that for the past week almost.

Rereading this it sounds almost incoherent. I'll stop blabbering now.

[tigersassy]

I'm beginning to worry that my meds have stopped working. And I really don't want to go back to my dr and tell her all of the crap going in my head. Too much in there and far to terrifying. If I tell her im afraid I'll be admitted to a hospital. I don't want that but it's all I can think about. And now my big black pit of depression is going to open up and swallow me whole. After clouds nine all last month I crash and burn typical tig.

[SadPam]

Doing OK when I don't think about work - bought a couple gifts for my Angel Tree little girl, vacuumed, went for a long walk with my dog since it was 50 degrees in Chicago today, roomie made salmon patties for dinner, and now I'm in bed, my favorite place to be, surfing, reading, may call a friend.

Anxious about Monday; had been off of work for 2.5 months for depression and anxiety as my boss is a bully and triggered a meltdown; since I reported his bullying to HR and returned to work, he's bullying me worse than ever. Applying for other jobs, sent HR an email last week that I'm considering filing a complaint with the EEOC, but didn't share with them that I'm also thinking about going back on short-term disability to once again escape him and his abuse. Hoping they don't fire me before I can make a move one way or another first. Mean people suck.

[Rose76]

Starting to slip down a bit today. But I've not gone in to any real tailspin. So I'm okay.

[Bark]

Slept in, missed something important. Extremely pissed off at myself.

[Walrus33]

This was a bad weekend. My mother visited this week, and somehow her visit made me feel more alone. I reached out to her about feeling depressed, and she just said my problems are my own. I feel hopeless now. I haven't gotten out of my pajamas in days, I just watch tv to try to distract myself and cry. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm 4 months in and there's no light at the end of this tunnel.

I'm supposed to be visiting family for the holidays, but I don't want to go and be around more people who are just going to pretend I'm fine and nothing's wrong. It just makes me feel more isolated.