Why try if the results are always the same?

Every time one tries to go out and do something they find difficult it effects them. So if i've continuosly tried and then got berated or failed i fell deeper into self destruction. So what's the point in trying? I just keep on killing myself repeatedly bit by bit. I'm at the ends point. Why try? You just make a fool out of yourself and then sink deeper into your depression. Hope that makes some sense.

Because there is always that chance that things will be different. I didn't always think so but life has made me believer.

You are describing a risk-management scenario I somewhat know. When the consequences of repeated failure could be a dangerous despair, how do you know it's

• time to retreat and regroup, or
• time to change tactics, or
• time to change your operational strategy, or
• time to change your grand strategy?

If the results are always the same, it's time to either try something different or possibly back up as much as necessary and re-envision the whole situation.

Who's berating you?

Rohag
I think i've tried everything i know. Always same result.
I know the question you asked about who's berating me is probably a rhetorical one but it's something thats driving me to the brink and i never before mentioned it to anyone anywhere. Like for ex my parents would tell me i should be out of the house and doing stuff. So i would listen like an idiot but then i would get calls and texts asking,when i'll be home, why i'm out for so long and once i get home i don't hear the end of it, how i'm needed at home, i don't ever do anything cuz i'm not home i'm living off them and not helping (which is a lie and why it affects me so badly) etc etc.... It doesn't end by my parents, even my friends, and others do it.
Thanks for the reply.

It's probable your own "issues" grew out of and continue to be nurtured by a less-than-functional environment involving the whole family. You might even be what family therapists call an identified patient (problems are rooted in a family system, but the "identified patient" is the only one singled out or scapegoated by the family members as having "the problem").

Ideally - though it may not be practical or possible - putting some physical distance between you and an environment setting you up to fail would be desirable. If physical distance is not possible, erecting stronger psychological boundaries may be necessary.

Thanks Rohag for your response.....time......patience.....

How can one erect stronger psychological boundaries?
Thnx.

(((((((((( hugs to you ))))))))))
I don't have answers..... My heart is with you

so much relate to the "family scapegoat"

I think more than a few therapists would say something like, "Recognize your soft boundaries and practice strong-boundary behaviors."

Much has been written on psychological boundaries. This blog post, Healthy Boundaries, is based on the work of Nina Brown; it's a start.

In the short-term, "emotional insulation" and stress reduction techniques are supposed to be useful.