[RUGGER]

Hello,
I am new to this forum so I would first like to apologize for any ignorance on my part. I will try to keep this short. I always been some what mentally unstable. Weird thoughts, some friends would say. Either way, I have never been to a professional to get diagnosed with anything but one this is for sure, I am depressed. I broke up with my long term girlfriend recently and that was the beginning of my downward spiral. I started having extreme highs where I thought I was unstoppable and extreme lows where I will hide and cry for no reason. These actions started to make me feel pathetic. I always thought I was strong, and the fact that a break caused all this made me feel worthless and weak. I started drinking but stopped that because every time I became intoxicated I would be overwhelmed with negative thoughts. I am about to lose my scholarship for school due to few things. I am not afraid of losing myself, I am afraid of disappointing my parents. I have been blessed with amazing parents. I cant stop thinking about the fact that I might fail them. Its only getting worse. I am also physically affected for I have a weaker immune system, I have this constant pain in my chest, and I feel nauseous most of the time. My mom saw me throw up few times out of no where and she suspected something but I dismissed it as just feeling sick. I am a man desperately looking for hope and strength but the journey itself is what is hurting me. Simply put, I am literally deathly afraid of failure. What can I do on my own to get a straight mind. I keep telling myself to man up, but this only seems to make things worse. Any help is appreciated.

[gayleggg]

I would suggest you see a doctor for proper diagnosis. There could be medications that work or maybe therapy would help also.

[Pierro]

Absolutely I agree with Gayleggg, you need to get help. You need to get things under control. I know that you dont want to disappoint your parents, I am sure they are worried about you and would benefit every side if you had a heart to heart. If you are not ready for that at the very least see a doctor. You are very lucky to have supportive parents. Best wishes to you, and welcome to Psych Central.

[Fuzzybear]

[xavierjudd]

Please go see a psychiatrist! And try not to worry too much about failure, your parents love you for you, not for your achievements.