[Vossie42]

It's so hard to go on. My meds are out of whack. I'm on new meds now. The nighttime meds (gabapentin and seroquel) help me sleep, but the daytime med (wellbutrin) makes me so agitated - to put it mildly - that I swear I may just kill myself just to make the agitation go away. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have finals this week. My grades are between B's and C's. I have to maintain a B average in order to stay in the program. My therapist is useless. I started with her a few months ago to help me deal with anxiety related to school. Everytime I bring up the fact that I'm anxious, she says that's normal and move on to talking about my medications. She has spent at least half of the time talking about medications. She's not a psychiatrist. She's supposed to be a mental health therapist. I've been deteriorating throughout the semester and asked her for help and she talks about my medications.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this week without killing myself. I almost tried last Sunday. I'm surprised that my doctor and therapist both didn't put me in the hospital. I'm really scared. I can't focus on studying. I called suicide hotline twice. They weren't much help. They said to talk to my therapist and my psychiatrist. They wouldn't help me with my emotional crisis.

Final exams are hard enough without all this other ****.

[Vossie42]

To top it off, one of my hearing aids stopped working. My glasses are so scratched up that I can't see through them. They have an anti-glare coating, which is notorious for scratching easily. I clean my glasses according to the manufacturer's instructions and still get scratches. Gah!

[Rohag]

You may have been asked this before: is there an office for 'special student services' at your college/university? They need to know your therapist is of no help and that you are struggling.

[Vossie42]

Yes, there is. But it's too late at this point. My exam is Monday at 8:00 AM, and the disability services office is closed for the weekend. If I were to get my exams postponed even to the afternoon when I feel more stable, I should have set that up before now.

[Vossie42]

All week, mornings have been the roughest. I feel outright unstable. If I feel that way Monday morning for the exam, I still will go but I will also explain the situation to my professor and see if she'll let me take the exam a couple of hours later. I've been doing well in the class otherwise and have attended all the lectures. She may be amenable to my request.

[gayleggg]

(((((((Vossie)))))))

vossie, I'm sorry you feel so down, i hope things get alot better soon

[Fuzzybear]

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sOrry you are struggling so much and your t is useless. Can you switch therapists? Or at least talk to her about how useless the topic of meds is when you are looking for support? Maybe remind her you have a psychiatrist?

[Vossie42]

Yes, I will discuss with her about my dissatisfaction with her. The upcoming session is stressing me out a bit, too, lol. She actually said that if I had gone to the pdoc that she recommended that I wouldn't be having the problems I'm having now. And that if I had been drinking kava kava and chamomile tea every night like she instructed me to do that I would not be where I am right now. Hmm, not sure I want to pay the $50 copay to fire her in person.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Vossie42

Hmm, not sure I want to pay the $50 copay to fire her in person.

LOL! That "privilege" should not cost you $50.