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#1
Dec 06, 2013, 05:14 PM
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I'd been wanting to cry all throughout last hour, but I don't like crying in front of people so I waited until I got home. I turned on Fiona Apple, grabbed a pillow, and just let loose. It felt really good to let out that bottled up everything inside of me.
I'm definitely falling into another episode. I can feel it in my bones. I once wrote that the difference between plain sadness and depression is that you feel the depression deep inside of you, that it mixes with the marrow in your bones. I didn't realize at the time I was slightly referencing Fiona Apple. "That's where the pain comes in, like a second skeleton, trying to fit the need for skin..." Slightly, but I can tell you that's where my subconscious got that idea from. This stinks. I have my stepbrother's birthday party tomorrow and I don't want to be sad when I go. I was hoping I could stay normal - neither up nor down - but obviously that was a bit too much to ask. Blech. Oh well. My weekend shouldn't be too bad. I've got a few other awesome things planned for tomorrow. Hopefully they will be enough to distract me from my mood.
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"Before you can make good music, you just have to shut up. Then the music can say what it has to say." -Kristin Hersh "The most important thing about music that I've learned after all this time is that to me, it's a way of reaching the truth." -Serk Tankian |
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#2
Dec 06, 2013, 07:31 PM
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Quote:
May tomorrow turn out better than anticipated.
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My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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 TheJettSet27
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#3
Dec 07, 2013, 11:04 AM
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Some times crying can be very therapuetic and releasing. so it's a good thing but I totally get the not wanting to cry in front of others thing. I still struggle to cry with my T but I do.
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#4
Dec 08, 2013, 10:51 AM
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I want to cry but can't.
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#5
Dec 09, 2013, 08:21 AM
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*Hugs.
Wish I could take away your sadness and dump it into the lake.... And i know what you mean about when you are in your darkness - the idea of a gathering / party pretty much makes your insides wanna puke. So I say HUGS to ya and (weak attempt at humor) - have some cake, cake always makes things better. Stay safe, Signed - your friend from just north of ya |
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