For those of you in a serious depression, what are your first thoughts when you wake up? This morning mine were "I don't want to get out of bed" and "It's going to be another miserable day." What I mean by miserable day is, no matter what activities I engage in, the depression just doesn't go away, and it's been like this for a good 4 months now.

My therapist keeps telling me to challenge my irrational thoughts. I don't think it's irrational to say no matter what activities I engage in, the depression will linger (at least for today) because that's the way it's been for the past 4 months. I just want to be my old self, not dreading getting out of bed. The main reason I get out of bed is because I'm motivated to take a bath, there are dogs I'm responsible for letting out during the day and I want my marriage to remain as healthy as possible. Lately, that means getting at least a part-time job because without that, there would be a great strain on our relationship. My marriage and good family relationships seem to be about the only positives I have going lately.

I just hate this *****. What are the first thoughts of the day for others who are in depression?

[gayleggg]

"oh no I woke up" "can I drag myself through this day acting normal?" since work full time.

[Idealsummerluvv]

My thoughts this morning were also that I didn't want to get out of bed. Slept a little bit later than usual.

Feeling stressed out over Christmas and not in the mood to get the tree.

[Fuzzybear]

[Clara22]

my second thoughts are "Ok I have to feed the dogs"

[perryc]

Why wake up? Wake up for what? My sleeping dreams are way better than real life will ever be. Why would I ever want to wake up again? I'm looking forward to the morning that I don't wake up, ever.

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[Major Tom(In Space)]

My first thought when I wake up is usually the same thought. "Why did I wake up?" I always kind of want to just have the feeling of being asleep linger forever. It's around the only time I'm not hurting all the time.

I think I wake up (usually around 5am)... and I *avoid* thinking at all. I just do my routine. brush teeth, shave, shower.... and try to not think about if I am in a good mood or not. I think I fear if I think about it - I will just fall into my darkness sooner. I think it is me hoping that something positive will happen and distract me....

Originally Posted by Useless Me

I think I wake up (usually around 5am)... and I *avoid* thinking at all. I just do my routine. brush teeth, shave, shower.... and try to not think about if I am in a good mood or not. I think I fear if I think about it - I will just fall into my darkness sooner. I think it is me hoping that something positive will happen and distract me....

Good strategy, UM!

Thank you NG2

[Daeva]

"Do I have a point to existing today? I have an appointment with my T. Just need to get past that, then I can stop existing."

[Martek]

I don't know, I have actually been waking up numb. Yesterday I tried to think how I feel when I wake up and came up blank so I figured I would see today. I woke up numb again, no real feelings at all.

[leeshygurl]

i dont think it i feel it running through my veins, with each breath i take that 'emptiness' fills every single part of my body, my mind and my soul! i take a deep breath and force myself to live thru another day of the deepest sadness! and i tell myself 'maybe today will be the day' but today is never that day....i live in hope that happiness is real and one day i will feel it.....if it kills me i will feel happiness at least once!

[Poppy Princess]

I don't really think. I just do.

[Daeva]

Do I have a reason to get out of bed?

[dandylin]

I wish I lived alone so that I could just stay here

[Whoaminoone]

Usually, my first thoughts are of wanting to go back to sleep to avoid the immediate feeling of being so overwhelmed! Generally, kids are already awake...fighting, screaming, demanding. Before I can stretch, I'm already being forced to play referee! I just want to go back to the peaceful bliss of nothingness.

[archipelago]

Will I have any energy today, just to get through? Will my concentration ever come back? Why isn't my brain working? I hate mental illness. It totally sucks.

Those are my thoughts each day and they continue all day long worsening in the afternoon and evening.

[Little Lulu]

Mornings are by far my roughest time of day. My thoughts are fear-related ... fear that I am not up to it all, I am not good enough, I am not enough, I will end up alone and abandoned. None of this is true but my AM brain is in gear before I can catch it and tell it the TRUTH ... that I am fine, actually, more than fine.

What gets me through it knowing 'this, too, shall pass' and it generally does.

I sure with I had an answer to the morning dilemma ...

[regretful]

lately, it's "oh, no! not again"...