Feeling Lonely

I am just feeling lonely because I realize I don't have friends that I do things with on a regular basis.

I'm a letter carrier and @ work we don't have much time to socialize at all. Then when you're on the route- it's just you and whatever customers you might get to speak to.

I seem to be well liked at work. Have been invited to a coworker's vacation spot for the past 2 years but haven't gone yet. She also invited me to go cross country skiing.

My husband is 10 years sober and lost most of his friends when he quit drinking. So it isn't as if we have "couple friends" either.

When I worked @ the plant, it was alongside a best friend Barbara. Now that we don't work together- we've rarely found time for each other and I guess that's how it goes when you're not really in each other's lives like before.

When I was going to alanon, I was jealous of those how seemed to be able to make friends quickly. Maybe it is the illness of depression that makes it more difficult and the fact that I usually hold things inside.

Have not been to alanon in quite some time. Have seemed to outgrown it or something. No longer interested.

However, I think I can hide the depression quite well from people and so I don't think acting depressed or being depressed is the problem.

Maybe it is more difficult to make friends when you're older. I'm 48.

Anyway, just feeling lonely today but will see about making plans with that friend I dissed yesterday.

Laurie

Sorry you're feeling so lonely. I don't have any advice I can really give you but keep trying. Good luck!

It's not harded to make friends because you are older, but I think depression keeps us from trying as hard to keep the ones we already have. I have 3 friends. I used to spend a lot of time with them but with being depressed I just don't have the energy or interest in things we used to share. Reach out to those you have had in the past and try to rekindle those. Good luck.

That's a healthy sign that you are willing to contact a friend that you "dissed" yesterday. I recently did the same thing. It's good to allow for the possibility of getting past unpleasantness.

I don't think it is necessarily harder to make friends as we get older. What does happen is that, as people get older, their family responsibilities take up more of their time. So, as we are getting older, people are own age can seem to have less time for us. That can make it seem harder. We have to allow for this and not feel rejected, if we have to put significant effort into connecting with others.

I also have a hard time making friends. I feel really lonely today. Everytime I get close to someone they move away. When I'm depressed and anxious I'm not much fun. I tried going to alanon but felt so uncomfortable. I'm guarded and afriad .

Maybe alanon is a good place to go for overcoming use of substances, but perhaps there are other places to go for making friends? Such as - get involved in various activities that interest you (photography, sports, music, etc.), or get involved with some volunteering.