[kanola]

My wife and I have been together 17 years. Married 14 of those. Our first 11 years together in the US were trying but we made it. Moving to Mexico ( her native land) 6 years ago went OK until 4 years ago or so.
We own a restaurant and working side by side is hard for her. But the biggest problem is her friends and non immediate family occupy too much of her time taking time away from the two of us. She is also heavily influenced by many of the same if they can sway her if it's in their benefits.
We have taken a few breaks but always talk and work it out. Monday she left for what could be the last time. I get angry because she always puts me second to others in her life. She will spend money foolishly, allow others to use our personal belongings ( cars ) without restitution. All this adds up and I try to explain to her the consequences. never having a cash surplus.
She has become more brazen lately and will attempt to defend herself without merit. Hence the arguing gets more heated as she can't back her actions. Her younger cousin, who is one of the bigger problems in our marraige was here ( and speaks no English ) and saw the commotion. She convinced my wife to leave me.
Now the only way I have of contacting her is via text message on her cousins phone. She has not replied to any of them and may not be shown them. Also none of my wife's family ( who side with me ) speak English. They are concerned for me / us but can't communicate well enough.
I love my wife and just want her to come home and be my wife without all the distractions of friends / family and asked her to see a couselor or sit and talk with a mediator present. Who is an attorney who is somewhat bi-lingual and also loves and cares for us equally and wants the best.
That's problem # 1. The other is one of my precious dogs ( we have many as they are dumped at my house ) is I'll. He has seen the vet twice and I think it was a bad diagnoses. Wither way he took a downward trend to the worse last night. He does not eat or drink. he was up all night crying ( scared ) and I was up holding him hoping he will pass. he hasn't yet. They vet is closed and I do not know if I could get him up there anyway.
My baby just stares me in the eyes begging for help but even the vet says there is nothing we can do. Too late to take him to another I think.
This crushes me to have to deal with and it's compounded because I have to do it myself without my wife. Which I'm very scared of losing as well.
I do not know if anyone here can help but just typing it helps me a bunch. If I were in the US it would be easy for me. here I have no rights, my Spanish is very limited and though I have an attorney friend who will help if any legal matters come up, she does have a full time job and may or may not be able to at that time. Just toooooooo much stress for me to deal with on my own.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Kanola.

Stresses don't add; they multiply. With these serious stresses, do you feel you may be moving into a depressed state (as opposed to a temporarily depressed mood)?

Thank you for loving the dogs.

[Clara22]

Hi Kanola,
I am very sorry for your ordeal. Hope you continue posting here. It has been very useful for me, so far. I am from a Latin country, like your wife. I lived in the US for more than 10 years, and came back to my country a year ago. It was very difficult for me to adapt, although I had an excellent job in the US. I will not be able to advise you on marriage, as it is not my strength. However, if you think that discussing about different cultures from a relationship point of view could be helpful for you, PM me.
I wish you the best, please keep posting

[wa(o)rrior]

hi, i can understand how terrible you feel.