[Audrey]

Ok, so i have this overwhelming desire to belong and to fit in. I hate where i work, it feels like one minute i fit in and then the next i don't. I don't know what to think. One minute i'm getting promoted and then the next everyone ignores me and acts like i'm stupid. I hate this. It's not like i got a real promotion. i just got promoted from part time to full time. I hate how i'm supposed to go to work and pretend to be happy. I'm not happy. I just want to be left alone. Becasue if i act like i'm not happy then everyone wants to know why and repeating the story many times doesn't exactly make the situtation any better. Oh and then if no one wants to know why , then i feel like no one cares. Am i whinning about nothing here? Are my problems actually really minor?

[(JD)]

<font color=purple>welcome to "life"</font color=purple>

<font color=blue> Character is who you are when no one is looking </font color=blue>

[Rapunzel]

Audrey,

Sometimes people get jealous when someone gets promoted. They just do, even if they really do like you. You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time. I know it hurts to feel like people don't like you though. I hate feeling that way too.

You don't have to act happy all the time, and you don't have to give out explanations to everyone who asks either. What could you tell them instead? "I just don't feel like talking about it right now," or "I need to stop dwelling on it and this just isn't helping me?" I don't know - you can probably think of something better. Reliving your problems over and over really doesn't help. But if people ask, they are probably trying to show concern. Maybe just tell them thanks for asking. And when they don't ask, maybe they are being sensitive and have picked up on that it isn't good for you to rehash it.

Your problems are not frivolous - what you wrote shows that you have some of the classic thinking patterns associated with depression. You might want to look into cognitive therapy, which would help you to recognize these patterns and correct them.

<font color=orange>"They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it." ... from the Director of Censorship...

</font color=orange>

[seasidebiff]

I definitely get this one, Audrey. Sometimes I feel weakened by my desire for people to like me. Further, I can be an amazingly positive person on the outside, even when I feel horrible inside. It's an act, but people buy into it. Then, on days when I really feel horrible, it's like people are upset about it because they have an expectation that I will be positive and carry them. They dont want to help when you are down, they just want to maintain the status quo so they won't actually have to care or spend any energy on you. I understand that too, but it's important to recognize it all for what it is - the farce that generally is an office friendship/relationship. Wanting to be left alone is a common feeling for me too, especially when I am feeling bad and people's platitudes only make me feel worse...and eventually angry. In general, in the office, I try to keep things even and to myself. I wouldn't expect colleagues to care too much, or listen too well...but I also wouldn't show them too much either. When someone asks, 'are you okay' my standard reply is ' just having a day, thanks...'

"A wise man leaves the road, and finds the way."
- Lao Tse