[anw014]

I have debating this for awhile now: should I go get help from a doctor or a therapist for my depression?
I have been experiencing it for the last 3 years. My parents told me I've shown symptoms since I was about 8 (I'm 20 now) but I guess I never linked the two together until I got older.

The first time I think I hit rock bottom was in the middle of grade 12 during a fight with my best friend of 7 years. Our friendship ended and the rest of the school year (about 6 months) was absolute hell. She was texting me calling me names, tearing me down and making my life terrible because she got all of our friends at school to do the same. I couldn't go to school for many days because I would just lie in my bed crying. There was rumors going around about me and people always talking behinds back. I started pushing all of my friends I still had away and I isolated myself. I had been pushed to my limit and I wanted to die. I didn't want to live my life one more minute. Luckily a friend helped me and made me realize that my life is more valuable than to end it over a stupid girl and words.
We eventually mended things 10 months later so I didn't think I was experiencing depression anymore. Then in the past 2 years, I've been having financial problems and I'm in a lot of debt. I've also had issues finding jobs because I've moved to another city and back a few times for university.
My latest issues that make me feel my lowest is over money and a job. I breakdown about twice a week at night and I just cry because I start thinking about how I don't have a job and I'm behind in bills, and how my credits getting ruined and how that's effecting my future. It all makes me feel hopeless, worthless and like I have no future. I also feel like the only way out if this hole is to end my life because I'm trying so hard to get a better job but I haven't gotten any calls. My boyfriend just got this amazing job and everyone keeps talking to him about it right in front of me. That triggers me because it makes me feel worse about myself and then I break down.
I also get irritable and angry easily and if someone criticizes me even a little I blow it out of proportion and I end up crying and thinking about all my problems and wanting to die. I also self harm sometimes. It's not something I always do. I've done it twice in the past year.

The reason I'm debating going and getting help is that maybe my depression is just from not having a job and being financially stable. When I do get a job will I be magically cured and be happy again? If so, then going to a doctor/therapist will be pointless because they can't help me get a job.

Does this make sense?

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Anw014.

Originally Posted by anw014

When I do get a job will I be magically cured and be happy again?

Although it is possible getting comfortable in a job would allow the depression to recede, I speculate your history of depression has eroded your overall resistance to the return of depression in the future. It may be in your best interests to look at depression as a long-term problem requiring vigilance and management.

If you become "unsafe," by all means run for help immediately. No- or low-cost help may be available to you through your college/university. More basically, learn all you can about depression.

PsychCentral: Depression

Please keep posting. Make yourself at home.

[Frankbtl]

OK maybe a job will help a bit, but I'd say that it's where you're at in the right here and now that really matters. So why wait what one month, two months, six months??? (jobs aren't always easy to come by for anyone) feeling like you do now just to test the theory?
And let's face it you were BULLIED and that DID affect you badly, just as it would for most people. Don't undersell that, you know how wrong it was, you know how it made you feel. And it would be SO understandable for you to need just a little extra help in working through that. Perhaps even your current situation has triggered and added to some of the feelings you've had from then.
BUT you are NOT hopeless, you are NOT worthless, the situation you are in doesn't have to be YOU or say anything about YOU, it's maybe as much about you coming to believe that.
And you know if people are only going to go on about your boyfriends amazing job for so long, perhaps try to be happy for him because he really isn't going to be getting that for ever, chance that people will get bored of it maybe??
Perhaps try to do something that makes you feel good too, something you'd be happy to tell people about. If you're enthusiastic there's a chance that they would be too even if that's "just" starting walking or something.
Now for this one REALLY think about if you're ready but: Perhaps doing some voluntary work would help?? Just a little?? Might make you feel better about yourself, give you a focus and it really isn't going to look too bad on an application form/CV for future employers.
And just a bit more practical, if you're struggling with your bills let the companies know as soon as, maybe then you can arrange a payment plan with them. They've got to be happier with getting something than with getting nothing.
But back to the getting help bit, yes, then if you find out you don't need it as much well, nothing lost, but if you are needing it, it might just make a difference you really do need.
Go for it!!
Best wishes
Alison

Your parents said you showed signs since you were eight, so maybe it's more than just not having a job. I think it'd be good to talk to someone, either way, and help you understand your depression more and what additional factors in your life could have caused it. You seem like you want to, at least I think you do, and honestly, some of the stuff you're describing sounds like more than just not having a job and being financially stable, but I could be wrong. Like the overly sensitive/irritable thing. I've had that for so long. It really, really sucks and I think it'd be good to talk to someone about that. Good luck; keep us updated?

[hvert]

Getting some help for your depression could actually help you land a job. It's hard to find motivation to look for a job or to be at our best in interviews when we're depressed. It doesn't hurt to shake things up when we're stuck in a rut like that. What do you have to lose by talking to someone, besides wasting a few hours of time? I hope you do something fun this weekend that takes your mind off all this stress!

[CastlesInTheAir]

No point in not trying it out either. No harm in exploring it.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk

So I'm still in school but I did have a full time job over the summer and I would definitely recommend at least trying out a therapist or two if not mainly to help balance yourself and improve your ability to analyze yourself in a much more fair assessment.
Now, most of my depression is triggered from school itself so it pretty much did vanish when I got into my job but it's definitely a great thing to have a backup just in case something does trigger you at least you'll be able to recognize it and get help before it starts to actually affect parts of your life. For me, I found a therapist near my workplace just to make sure I could meet with someone if I started to feel really down. That safety net/proactive measure really helped me feel safe in my new workplace which in turn helped me succeed. So I would definitely recommend getting to know therapy and how to help yourself achieve the best you can
Good luck!