[skyler143]

Was i raped again? I have lost my mind completely. I don't want you to have to read a book about my life, so i will try to make this short. I have to start by telling you about me. I was raised in abusive family and then married Satan himself. He was so horrible that my life was... every day beatings, he broke both my legs, stabbed me seven times, would stop strip me naked and put me outside then start shooting at me and laughing while i had to run and dodge bullets, raped me more times than i can count, kicked me in the stomach while i was pregnant with our second child ( this resulted in her b being born severely disabled,she couldn't speak walk, talk, sit up, was paralyzed on one side, tube fed, had seizures ,etc .) I was told that if i left him then he would kill me and i knew he would. One night he got one of his shotguns out as usual and said it was time i died. I managed to escape so he shot and killed my best friend and used the rest of his bullets on her husband. He got life plus 45 years,, thank God. After lots of therapy,i met and married a wonderful man who adopted both my children. He never hurt me. I went to wake up my daughter one morning and she was dead. I lost it and ended up in a mental institution. I had to get it together for my son. One year later, he was in a car wreck and died at 21. My daughter was 16. Another visit to the hospital. Got out and tried to cope with the help ofmy husband. Guess what... one year later we were sitting at the table and he fell over dead from a heart attack. Visit number three. This part of my life ended o in2008. I gave up on love until i started dating a man from my church. We married two years ago and he is great. Accepting me and all my baggage. Everything was normal, until yesterday. I took some of my medicine and passed out. When i woke up, i was naked. He was sitting in the chair in our room watching tv and i was in h the bed. When i asked him what was going on he told me that he took my clothes off to give me a
massage. OMG! REALLY !!! He said he didn't touch me sexually, and i my body doesn't feel like it, but after all the rapesi have survived, and he knew about it all, i feel violated and my ptsd has been triggered. I am now so lost and need help. I have never been so depressed in my life. If someone is still reading this, please help me. I am in a black hole and see no light what do i do? I am on disability and can't make it financially on my own. I would really appreciate any feedback at all.... thank you so much and sorry this was so long.



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[Rohag]

You mentioned you called the (local?) hospital. Are you going to be seen soon?

I hope that the hospital will also be able to link you with a social worker. 2-1-1 is also a possibility.

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of you...

[healingme4me]

Tell him, from now on, if you are taking meds, leave you as you were.

I hear you, it feels violating, with or without, that.

If it happens again,,have a safety plan..

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