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  #1  
Old Feb 08, 2014, 08:55 PM
tsmith88 tsmith88 is offline
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Location: missouri
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I just got the letter in the mail that I am going to receive disability it has taken over 3 years to get to this point. In the meantime I've been living with my parents... well I never moved out actually.... working at least one, sometimes as many as 3 part time jobs, getting food stamps to help my parents financially. I've suffered from clinical depression, maybe bi-polar depression doctors don't agree ever... for pretty much my whole life. I had a LOT of trouble in school... so I ended up getting my GED... I get very stressed out very easily I guess.

I was down to one job, and I decided to quit it about 4 months ago because I was so stressed out I would vomit every morning before I went to work and was having horrible stomach problems which my doctor attributed to stress.
Over the course of the 4 months I calmed way down and was actually happy for a while, found myself naturally picking up the housework and cooking, felt much better my stomach problems stopped. But my parents don't have much money and I run a small animal rescue and HAD to have money so I went back to my old job... and now for some reason my mother expects me to go to work AND do all the housework I was doing when I wasn't working. It's not that I get physically tired, I'm only 25, mentally after work I am just wiped out. I work home health care. The whole thing makes me want to cry because my mom is so judgemental and demanding and treats me like crap but my parents won't let me move out.
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  #2  
Old Feb 09, 2014, 11:31 AM
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gloamingone gloamingone is offline
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I'm curious how your parents are forcing you to stay. I haven't lived at home since 16, which is great, because my parents were very abusive. Leaving home saved me from being more screwed up than I already am! :-)

Congrats on the disability! I'm waiting to hear about my appeal.

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  #3  
Old Feb 09, 2014, 11:42 AM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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Hello, Tsmith88. Over time I became stress-intolerant. I would not be able to survive in the conditions you describe. Are you in touch with anyone in social services (211?) with whom you could discuss your situation?
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  #4  
Old Feb 09, 2014, 02:32 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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  #5  
Old Feb 09, 2014, 02:36 PM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Would you, be able to afford to live on your own? Benefits are to help you, not others. They are adults, they'll have to figure it out, right?

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  #6  
Old Feb 09, 2014, 08:10 PM
tsmith88 tsmith88 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: missouri
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My parents say things when ever I bring up the topic of moving out... I've heard that I cannot take my dog, and if I go ahead and leave he will be put to sleep. I've been told that I will not be allowed to take anything my parents bought me with me, and they will call the police and search everything I take out of the house to make sure I don't, then the stuff they bought me will be sold at a yardsale. My parents have told me point blank, "NO, you can't" My father and mother both make it out to be like it would be the end of the world if I did... my father says his only priority in life is to take care of me... but I'm 25 and I can take care of myself. I know how to do dishes and laundry and take care of myself, because tho my father says he 'takes care of' me I'm the one reminding him to take his meds, cooking for him, cleaning his bathroom. My father has point blank told me, "I don't think you could live on your own." when I have never even had a chance to TRY. Every time I talk about moving out, no matter how rational, they tell me I'm out of control like I'm a 10 year old. I've tried to get them to take me to pick up applications for income based housing - they won't. Point blank refuse. I don't drive because I have vision issues. I had a friend take me to look at mobile homes for sale in the area that might be in my price range.... parents won't do it. Won't give me messages if someone calls for me.
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  #7  
Old Feb 10, 2014, 12:22 PM
qtpiwitch qtpiwitch is offline
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that's a really tough situation. i'm 31 and recently had to move back in with my dad. i fought really hard not to especially since i have two kids. i was very prideful and thought i was failing as a parent that i couldn't support my kids. it's really hard out there on your own. maybe your parents are really trying to help you. have you tried to sit down and have a meeting with them? sometimes having someone else there like a therapist can help because you can actually say everything you need to.
  #8  
Old Feb 10, 2014, 01:56 PM
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Pierro Pierro is offline
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Hello Tsmith, I think that you should have a heart to heart with your parents, basically telling them what you have said in your post. You are a very good natured person to run an animal rescue as well as hold down a job. I take my hat off to you. You are between a rock and a hard place. I hope you all find some common ground because I think they really do care about you. Take care of yourself and best wishes.
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  #9  
Old Feb 10, 2014, 02:06 PM
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H3rmit H3rmit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tsmith88 View Post
My parents have told me point blank, "NO, you can't"
Well, you don't have to let their attitudes run your life any more. Sounds like you have the skills and resources - friends, disability payment, and skills.

I were you, I'd stealthily make plans to leave and disappear at an opportune moment.If they refuse to listen to what you have to say and treat you as an adult, it's their loss.
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  #10  
Old Feb 10, 2014, 02:26 PM
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Clara22 Clara22 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
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Hi
Independent Living Centers and/or self-advocacy groups may be helpful for you to organize your leaving your parents house and setting up your own home.
missouripeoplefirst.org
Missouri Statewide Independent Living Council
Good luck!
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Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel
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