[taylorgs]

Hi, I'm a twenty seven year old Maine resident and I've always been a depressed person. Since I can remember I've always felt different. I think some of it may be related to sexual orientation issues and feeling alone and isolated throughout adolescence. I turned to drugs in my mid to late teens to take me out of myself. I was an IV heroin addict for a few years as well. Up until recently my life seemed to have been going okay. I still drink and use marijuana as they help alleviate some of the physical discomfort and emptiness, though I know its not healthy. Lately I have been overcome by feelings of worthlessness and sadness. How I'm basically detached from everything that created me (though not literally my parents) and I wonder where I'm at. What makes other people happy is scary to me. I am in a job that's going nowhere but it pays the bills and keeps a roof over my head. I get scared that this is all there is and the only things I look forward to are beers and cigarettes. I have scheduled appointments for early next week to try and talk to some therapists and figure out what's going on but I'm scared. I just want some hope that at 27 I can start to discover who I really am. My whole life so far feels like a lie and I feel so strange. Please help. Its taking everything just to get through the day.

[Frankbtl]

Hi, Yes, I'd say absolutely at 27 you can start to discover who you really are!! In fact you can start doing that at any age with the right conditions AND 27 is still fairly young, really!!
So it's great that you're starting on that road in having reached out for help. It sounds like you've had a lot going on for you up until (and including!) now. Do you think that maybe you didn't have the right support or found it difficult asking for/looking for that in your adolescence? I can see how that period must have been really hard for you without people close to you and understanding/supportive.
Although being different absolutely doesn't have to be bad, it's good to have people around who allow you to see/feel that too and accept/like who you are................and not too many of them for you??
But WOW (!!) you pulled yourself of the path that led you too..........you walked away from the heroin!! Now that was massive!! So you do seriously have some strength and resolve in there, even if you're not giving yourself credit for that!!
And worthlessness after what you've been through and come though????????!!!!!!!
I really aren't undermining your feelings and I do know that depression can be SO hard and of course the feeling of worthlessness comes alongside but as long as you're getting my message on "worthless" just a little, tiny bit???? And maybe try to see your feelings (although I'm sure are VERY real!!) a little less about YOU but more so about "depression" instead. And with some help, and maybe a little bit of a fight (but we DO know you CAN do that!!) then..................
Now you do know I've got to mention the drink and marijuana, right? Drink: depressant and all that, really can't be helping........marijuana.....................
I seriously don't want to undermine you having kicked the heroin but it's got to be something you're aiming at at least reducing right now. Or maybe AA is something you might consider at some point if it is holding you back from all you could be/want to be??
OK lecture done
And yes it's completely understandable how you feel things are going nowhere, there might not be much more BUT with help then there will be a bigger picture out there. More choices you may want to make in where you're going in life, more things you really want to be doing, and more options/opportunities.
And you know when we're talking about starting to discover who you are, I'm thinking that you've already been discovering who you are underneath a bit (in part thanks to your life NOT "being a lie"). You HAVE shown a LOT of strength and strength of character in getting where you are today. NOW it's just about getting the help you need to feel better about yourself/your life and moving it on to where you want to be "tomorrow". I DO know that may not be easy but you're on your way!!
Here for you
Alison

[spoiledprince]

Hello,taylorgs. I'm glad you've shared with us, and I think Frankbtl has hit the points that needed to be hit, so I don't have much to say. I'm so sorry to hear that you feel isolated because of your sexual orientation, but you're not alone and in time I hope you can find the comfort that you really need to be yourself and to be truly happy. Self-discovery is the foundation to a stable and gleeful life. Know you have friends here and we are all willing to listen and give support when needed. Much luck!

[Fuzzybear]

[healingme4me]

27 isn't too late, to start taking control over your life and spinning direction into it. Even, if not a new career, new hobbies, interests, etc. Your state, is rather progressive where your orientation concerns are. Sure, it's a big state, Winters are long and draining, but with the upcoming thaw, beginning of therapy, why not spring forth hope?



Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

Everyone has mentioned some really good points so I just wanted to say welcome to PC and know that we are here to listen whenever you need it! And definitely please let us know how the appointments go!

And I just want to emphasize that life is much more than beer and cigarettes so don't worry even if you don't feel that way now Best of luck!

[qtpiwitch]

I'm new here too and i just wanted to say that these people are awesome and we are so lucky to have found such a great support site. the people who posted before me said most of what i wanted to say.

you are truly amazing to have walked away from heroin. that really does take a strong constitution.

but 27 is a great time to start over i should know i did it. i switched my major, my bf, and most of my losers friends when i was 27 and my life has improved dramatically. life is nothing if not possibilities. just be brave and keep your eyes open to the opportunities that are all around you.