Can people tell when a someone is depressed or not?

Sometimes I wonder if certain people try to avoid me or ignore me because they can tell that I'm depressed and they don't want to become depressed too, as if I'm contagious, ugh! Either that or they just don't feel comfortable being around someone who is depressed.

I don't think that my depression is that obvious despite the fact that I tend to not really smile or laugh that much. I think that most people would just assume that I'm kind of serious and quiet rather than depressed. I worry about this at times and think that maybe people can tell that I'm depressed as I'm not very good at hiding my emotions, and I rarely try to hide my true feelings.

Very few people know that I'm depressed, but once I do tell them that, sometimes they become more distant from me, and it hurts. Why do some people do this? It's not as if I have a contagious disease! I'd appreciate any insight into this.

Lots of people have battled depression, do battle depression or know ppl who have/are.

I'd guess, the reactions of stepping back from you, to me, depend on context of situation

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I've become very good at "hiding my depression", only the people close to me know about it.
In everyday life, most people think I'm a happy and carefree. I don't discuss my depression with outsiders, most could never understand.

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What do you mean by the reactions of people stepping back from me and the context of the situation exactly?

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I wish that I was good at hiding my depression too! I'm not though! So, because of that, is it possible that even strangers can tell that I'm depressed? I don't go around with a gloomy expression on my face, but a more serious one. I do talk to people when they talk to me, and I'm nice and polite in general. So, can they still tell if I'm depressed maybe? I'd really like to know the answer to that!

At what point do you disclose?

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I think it depends on the cases and the level of awareness from other people. I am a med student as my old syster and our room mate. They already had psychiatry and my sister had been depressed too and it never crossed their mind. I think people in college just think I am a quiet person.that.sometimes has some off moments... I tend to laugh a lot, the only thing that motivates me are other people. I think they think I'm shy and reserved about my feelings. But I guess very few people can see.trough me. Even so if you show a sad face, if you are slowed everyday and you talk about how you feel some could guess. But in my opinion most people are unaware about how depression truly manifest.

To be honest, I don't think that people immediately jump to the conclusion that someone is depressed so don't worry about that part as much. Usually that isn't an association that people make with other people.

As for the people that you have told, I do apologize if they make you feel that way. Part of it may be the stigma surrounding depression for people who have never dealt with it themselves or know someone close that has similar issues--in which case they are ignorant people and you shouldn't take their stupidity to heart.

The other part of it though is people who already are depressed talking to other depressed people. Now I have no idea if this is anywhere near your case but my friend used to call me almost everyday to talk about how tired they feel and how crappy their life was and at that time I was finally starting to feel a little better and talking to him everyday slowly started sucking all the energy out of me until I just stopped answering his calls for a while because it was affecting me so much. After I finally had a good foothold on feeling better I could talk to him again but it was really difficult for me to adjust my own mood so in fear of a relapse I cut him off for a while. But he knew I was depressed too it worked out okay. We talked it out and we're back to being best buddies haha. This is a little different of a situation though so I don't know if something like this applies.

People often fear what they don't understand but at the same time you need to surround yourself with those who really will care for you no matter what. Rejection hurts though u_u.

some can, some can't.

some are better at fake smiles/laughter and some are not.

the first time i was sent to the nut house - a relative found out that I was there and her response was "Jamie?? REALLY??? But he is always happy and laughing".

So - how good is your fake smile?

I used to be real good at playing the game and hiding my depression, but now I don't give a @#$%. I don't have many friends but they accept me as I am. I, too, old to want to impress anyone anymore.

The only clue I had that my husband was depressed was that he was very mopey. It was not untill much later that he admitted that he was depressed. As for me, I have a tendency to hide my depression from my husband because he thinks that my depression is just something you can snap out of or great material for a comedy routine.

There are a LOT of people who don't understand depression AT ALL. They can't imagine how someone could be so down because they have never experienced it.

I don't hide my depression AT ALL, yet at work when I finally told a few people that I was depressed, to my surprise, they had no idea. A lot of people just don't get it.

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To strangers and acquaintances, NEVER! To friends, after a couple of months usually. In the past, I didn't tell my two closest friends at the time until years later and after telling them about my issues, they both started to become more distant. I was really hurt. The friends I have now seem to be OK with it, but I can never tell for sure if they're just saying that or if they really mean that sometimes.

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Thanks for your reply, it really helped explain things for me. Perhaps people think the same thing about me. You're right, most people probably wouldn't be able to really tell if someone is depressed unless they're always talking about feeling depressed, sad, angry, etc...

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That's good to know that most people probably wouldn't notice if someone is depressed that easily most of the time. You're right about what you said regarding ignorant people and the stigma associated with depression. It's not as if we're contagious, ugh!

As for your friend, are you trying to say that you needed to avoid your friend and their problems in order to not go back to being depressed? It's good thing that your friend understood that and didn't hold that against you if that's the case. I'd be hurt if someone ignored me when I needed them unless they had to much going on to deal with me at the moment.

I try to surround myself with good people who care about me these days. I'm very quick to sever ties with anyone who seems judgmental, selfish, uncaring, and just not good for me in general these days. If I do keep in contact with them, I make sure to keep interactions as impersonal as possible.

I also make sure to discuss next to nothing about my private life with them. That's how my relationship with my parents and my sister is these days since they have always had a judgmental attitude towards me when it comes to just about everything, ugh!

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That's very true! Sometimes I can't help but wonder if those people who are ALWAYS smiling, cheerful, and usually in a good mood are faking it or not. After getting to know some people, I think to myself, there is no way that they're as happy as they seem with what they're going through! Wow, some people are really, really good at faking it!

You're lucky that you can fake it that good! I wish that I could! I can't though! My fake smile comes across as fake, so I don't bother! I don't want people to think that I'm a phony, so I might as well be real! It's not my style anyways.

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Well, now you know why he was so mopey! It's hard for most people to admit that they're depressed it seems like. That's to bad that your husband thinks that depression is something that you can just snap out of- It's not! If it were that easy, depression wouldn't be an issue for a lot of people! My husband and my family feels the same way about depression, ugh!

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That's so true unfortunately! I especially hate it when people say, smile, or cheer up! Ugh! I don't hide my depression either. It's to exhausting to have to put on an act for me! I suck at it anyways!

You're lucky that you can hide it. For me, it would be to obvious that I was acting as I suck at it, ugh! You're right, a lot of people just don't get it, and they don't even try to understand it either which makes things harder for us depressed people!

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I was never good at playing any games, do I don't. I stopped giving a **** about what most people think a long time ago! I'm the same way, I only have a few friends too. I don't really care about what people think of me anymore most of the time as well-

People don't tend to like being around an obviously depressed person. I think that when I get to a point where I can fake it; at least for a little while; I'm doing pretty good. I care what people think, I want people to like me, to think I'm gracious and kind and that I try to make other people feel welcome and comfortable. It actually helps me get through the depressed moments. Makes me feel somehow better because I can rise above my feelings and make someone's day better in spite of my mood.

I agree with gaylegg what are you to do,keep some s@#& eating grin on your face?

In a way I have been through similar. Telling, years after the fact, and sudden distancing. Something wrong with their spacial reasoning skills?
What is it really about Depression, that gets the snub, compared to certain other illnesses(considering one s,ide of my family in particular).

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Sorry for the slow response. Sometimes I tend to get overwhelmed by emails, posts, and life in general. I'd never ignore someone who's a friend or trying to help me on purpose! Having depression makes me slow & tired at times. What do you mean exactly by what you said?

Also, what do you mean by their spacial reasoning skills? Why would other people snub a depressed person but then have no issue with someone who has a different mental illness? It's weird and not fair! What issue are you referring to with this family member if you don't mind me asking?

I would say yes, just by slight changes in behavior. I was just watching one of my favorite shows "My Cat From Hell" and Jackson, the Cat Whisperer was saying that when a cat stops grooming himself and not using his litter box, it is a very good sign that the cat is depressed. Think about us humans. I know when I'm depressed I stay in bed longer, I'll choose to stay in my PJs and not shower, but I do use the toilet