[StarsMoonSky]

I tried to tell some of my so called "friends" that i'm not feeling alright, i have severe depression. I've been going to counseling for several months. the only response i got was, oh sorry that's bad. nothing else that's yet. i'm so disappointed for all the responses i got from few people. and now i'm even scared to tell other people i have severe depression, because they will reject me. but actually i don't care anymore. most people think i isolated myself from them. thank god the counselor listens to me. i'm trying to meet completely different people, new people. i admitted to my old friend, i'm mentally ill, what kind of friend says "i don't know what to say that's bad" to someone suffering from depression. When i recover, i won't talk to these people again. I would like to be an advocate one day and help others who are suffering from depression. so painful to endure.

Hey. This might not be what you want to hear but from my experience not a lot of people are prepared to answer that question really well. I know one of my best friends who will literally come to my door and helps make sure I don't stay in my bed all day is someone who answered with just "... oh". Especially people who haven't experienced it themselves or had someone close to them that has, it's very difficult for them to really know how to respond.

I would advise to just give them a little slack. Some people are just really bad at reading what other people want. And some people are just really unsure what do say. If they continue to not be supportive then by all means drop them like a hot potato but I suggest giving them some time to educate themselves. The only people I have told treat me the same as before I told them because I prefer not to be treated differently. In my case I just wouldn't like my friends to know.

I know you're really disappointed in the responses you have gotten and it isn't cool that they couldn't read what you wanted in their response but please relax a little. Your true friends will still stand by your side at the end of the day

[A Red Panda]

Unless someone else has dealt with depression on their own or with someone close to them already, then it isn't fair to expect them to know exactly the right thing to say to you. It's surprising to hear, because a lot of the time we hide our depression well, or people think it's something else.

At least no one has lied to you; they've considered you a good enough friend to confess that they don't know what to say. That's a fairly large risk for your friends to take - because people fairly commonly react just like you have, by rejecting them back for not knowing.

Try talking to them about what you experience as part of your depression. They might be scared and worried for you, and not know what to do to not make things worse. You have had a lot of time to adjust to the fact that you're depressed (unfortunately!) because you live with your mind and emotions. They don't, and I'm willing to bet that you've done your best to hide it from them They might even feel a bit guilty and think that they haven't been a good enough friend to you and might have already made it worse.

Try giving them a chance. They're your friends. It isn't fair to them to kick them out of your life because they gave you an honest answer. Very few people know how to respond to someone disclosing something so personal and scary.

[Curupira]

I am sorry you are going through this. I have lost several friends due to this illness. I will echo what other posters have said. It is very hard for people who are not going through this to understand what it is like and how hard it is to connect.

Yes, it is true that there are some people who just do not care. However, I have found that by sharing my struggle I have found people who are also suffering from an invisible illness and we have become closer as a result. There are also those that do not understand but want to. For those people I found resources (online comics and free games) that help them understand my experience.

I know it is hard to be this vulnerable with people, especially if you do not know how they are going to react. I would suggest that you keep at it. Your circle of friends might shrink but those that remain may end up being truer.

[StarsMoonSky]

Thank you very much for your feedback. i really appreciate.

[gloamingone]

My "friends" told me they were sick of my negative attitude. I know they had never experienced true depression, but to say that to someone in the middle of it was so cruel! Now I have one friend and a boyfriend. At least they don't say cruel things to me.

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A real FRIEND does not leave. Period.

[Fuzzybear]

Echoing the above!

A Real FRIEND does not leave.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by gloamingone

My "friends" told me they were sick of my negative attitude. I know they had never experienced true depression, but to say that to someone in the middle of it was so cruel! Now I have one friend and a boyfriend. At least they don't say cruel things to me.

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I am not certain a negative attitude and having depression, are one in the same.

But, either way, you don't need ppl in your life saying cruel things.
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[penguinh]

This is why I haven't really told any of my friends about my mental disorders and therapy. I've learned that people generally don't like to hang out with downers because it sucks away their happiness as well. That's why I've learned to fake it with friends. Like my therapist said, people don't really have empathy for others until they've walked in their shoes.

PENGUINH - totally off topic.... but VERY cute avatar.

[SeekerOfLife]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

A real FRIEND does not leave. Period.

Agreed UM. Unfortunately, there still seems to be a stigma to having mental/emotional illness. I have a friend 13 years older than me. She was raised in a time when you dealt with your problems at home. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. So no help there. Yes, a real friend does not leave. They should try to be supportive, even though they may not understand what you are going through.