[Anony]

Hi,
I am new here, just signed up. I'm pretty sure everyone here is going through something rather similar, but I don't feel as if anyone really understands what's going on in my mind (I'm sure we all feel that way). For starters, the honest truth is that I have been dealing with depression since I was about 13 years old. I am now 22. I've had my bad days, months, and years and my good ones, but lately everything seems to be going out of control. I feel trapped, like I'm about to burst. But the strangest part is that within the last month or so, it seems that I have lost all sense of emotion. I feel a little robotic. I used to feel hurt and pain so greatly that I couldn't breathe and I would cry a lot, but now, I know the pain is there... I just don't feel it. In my nearly 10 years of rough depression, I never let anyone know that there was something wrong. I put on this sunny, cheery disposition. I think one of the biggest reasons I never sought help was because my mom and sister were/are battling rough depression as well and I know they would never get help. I would feel awful if I got help and left them behind (they are my reason for living). Instead, I've been their picker upper, lifting their spirits and trying to teach them how to enjoy life... I wish I could do the same for myself. I doubt any professional could help me anyway.

welcome to PC. sorry i didn't see your post before now. i have to go to work now, but please post again. pat

[wanting]

Helpin other people semms to be easier for me and it also makes me feel better about myself also,ive suffered since i was about the same age as you possibly even earlier,i tried to get help for it 10 years ago ,gave up and plodded on.i wish id have gotten the help then instead of now.If you have a problem get yourself sorted out.

[Boopers]

Hi Anony,
First, I would like to welcome you to PC. You will find alot of caring and compassionate people here, always willing to help.
I'm so sorry you have had this depression for so long. I started having depression at age 14 and am still battling it and I'm 52 now. That's a long time. My whole family, including my Mom and Dad, which now are both deceased, have fought depression. I don't know if it is the hereditary thing or not.
Are you on any anti-depressants? If not, you may want to try them. I have been on them for eight years now, and probably wouldn't be here now if I hadn't gotten on them.
I'm sorry your Mom and sister also suffer from depression. It sure doesn't help your situation.
You might want to seriously think about finding a Therapist to talk to. They do help. Plus, you might find new ways to cope and then you could pass that on to your family.
I do hope that you will start to feel better soon. Please come on any time you need to talk. We are here for you and will help in any way we can, even if it's just a gentle hug~(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Anony))))))))))))))))))))))))

Take Care,
Linda

[FaithisAlive]

Hey.. welcome to PC... I think you should do what you can to get help for your depression.. that way you can be more helpful to your mom and sister....

You can't take care of them if you don't take care of you...
I know from experience that pretending can be exhausting.. it will take a toll on your body too...trying to force yourself to be something you aren't....

in your case trying to pretend you are happy and everything is wonderful in your world, when in reality you are lost in your own depression.. alone with it even...

I say get the help you need, so you can pull out of this dark place you find yourself in... you don't have to live this way hun.. you are so young... your whole life ahead of you...you deserve to feel happy.. feel the laughter...

Keep us posted... talk to us... we care.. Faith