my ex-girlfriend's keys and my neice's smile

- the downside
rough one today. went to nyc to see my ex- and give her back her keys, among other stuff. we had brunch together and had a nice time. we care about each other, and hope to be friends ultimately. talked about what happened between us. no regrets about breaking up, but really sad we hurt each other terribly in the process - not on purpose - and that each of us is struggling now. not so much because we broke up, because we're both going through tough times on top of that. lots of tears and i'm sorrys...and that feeling, the one where all your energy goes away and things get fuzzy, almost blurry. so i wandered through the city for a while. went to grand central to sit down somewhere i knew i could go for free and get lost in a crowd. stared at my hands for a while and left a few voice mails for a friend, for my mom who's worried about me but doesnt really know what's going on with me.

-the upside
went up to my sister's place to see her, my bro-in-law and my 4 yr old neice. it was just my neice's 4th b-day, and i brought her some presents - summer time Barbie and the Barbie living room set up. The look on her face when she opened the living room set made absolutely everything else not matter. what an awesome little kid. i think i could talk to a T every day the rest of my life, but it would never heal wounds the way my neice's smile and hugs can, the way she says my name and wants to ride on my shoulders through the city. thanks goodness for sweet little neices.

"A wise man leaves the road, and finds the way."
- Lao Tse

(((biff)))

Sorry to hear about the break up hon, now it makes more sense when in chat and you were bringing up relationships... things do happen for a reason... hang in there.

~Sundance

"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."

Norman Vincent Peale