[badmouse]

My therapist asked me that. Is this a common therapy technique?

I said, when my little sister was born, which happened when I was two-and-a-half. THerapist yelled at me and said nobody can remember being depressed that long ago. But I remember very well. I tried to kill myself and my sister. Some things you don't forget.

Time to get a new therapist, right?

[Altered Moment]

I remember very clearly it was the summer after sixth grade and going into 7th grade. I held off for a year but then started using alcohol and pot to self medicate.

I remember getting really depressed in 7th and 8th grade. And compared to getting angry at the time I would just get tired. I was so amazed at the change until I proudly told my sister that I don't get angry just sad and she stared at me for a while and said it was a symptom of depression. And then I did SI for a while to so... But I don't have a clear memory of when it started. Tbh though a lot of times when I'm depressed I forget a lot of things and my memory of those times are really spotty at best

[megfedorczyk]

I have never been asked that question my a therapist, but I see how it would be a good starting point. I have not idea how I would answer it to be honest. I have the memory of a squirrel.

I don't think it's very professional that she yelled at you though. If that was the first moment you remember, then that is the first moment you remember. Period.

I've never been asked that question, but I was suicidal at the ripe old age of 10. I'm 41 now.

I don't remember.

[Curupira]

My first full episode was trigered by my parents really rough abusive breakup. That is the first time I became suicidal. I had been prone to dark moods before then but nothing like that. I was 15.

[ImNotHere]

I was around 10 years old

[paynful]

The first time I was depressed, I was 10 years old. My sister moved out to live with my Mom in Texas while I stayed with Dad in Mass. I wasn't sleeping during the night, but taking a nap in the shower in the mornings instead of washing. My friends asked me if I wasn't getting all the soap out.

I never had a therapist ask me that, but I agree that it isn't a bad starting point..

I have had disagreements with my doctor before. It took all I had not to walk out. She was putting me down, telling me that I needed to get a job to get a routine going. I told her that I lacked the energy to get out of bed or eat, so I would need to get a job that meant something to me. I can't get stuff done for myself, but if it means something to other people or could make an impact that I feel is important, I can motivate/force myself.

...She told me that I was being petty and McDonald's was hiring... asked me, "Well don't you want to get better?" Maybe staying sick was easier for me. Going the lazy route was easier for me. I told her, "If I didn't want to get better, then I wouldn't be here talking to you!" More was discussed, but I told her not to put me down on her appointments for the following week, and I would call her if I changed my mind. I never went back.

If it was one talking point, then maybe it would be different, but there were a few other perspectives I didn't agree with her on. She wasn't a bad doctor or even a bad person, but just wasn't the right fit for my "process." She wouldn't take my priorities into account.

Honestly... if your doctor yelled at you and said you couldn't possibly be telling the truth, I would want to kick them in the shin. I wish you luck with your docotor, and hope you don't get discouraged with opening up.

[TheOriginalMe]

Hi, I'm new here and this seemed like a great question for me to answer as an ice-breaker. I've always had depressive thoughts, and have always feared "life will always be this bad". I remember thinking like this even before I went to school. It wasn't simply a thought process either it was (is still) accompanied by a physical crushing sensation and sense of guilt - after all there are millions of people in this world with real problems, I'm one of the lucky ones so I must be bad for even having these thoughts. I didn't understand at age 5 that depression can make you feel all these things and more, even though I know this now I still feel selfish for being depressed. I felt humiliated when a therapist once said to me that I was creating self fulfilling fantasies when I told him about this belief and how long it had persisted. I promptly closed up and refused to talk to him again. I'm a Brit and with "free" healthcare I had the luxury of being able to sit in stoney silence for as many sessions as it took for him to get the message that he just didn't get me at all. I guess when health care comes at a price then you have to make a decision as to what you really need - in your situation I'd ask "Do I really need to be yelled at and would I yell at someone else for that reason?" My answer is that no-one should be yelled at for answering a question honestly.

[jagenzwei]

I remember a walker that my parents put me in as a toddler (eh, idk). They said I couldn't have remembered it because they moved across the country when I was 2 or 3 and we had it before I moved. Never seen a picture of it. So, yeah, I don't agree with your therapist yelling. I would have been out of there.

I remember when I was 4, I was very upset and would not tuck in my shirt for school because I thought my butt was too big. Not a depressive episode, but, weird? Probably.

Meltdown at age 10. Was bullied constantly in school, had no friends - and I mean NO friends - so my horses were my best friends. Spent every minute with them I could, talked to them because I had no one else to talk to, and the meltdown came when my pony died. Then my older pony died a month later. Funny is, my dad made a remark about worrying about my own daughter turning 11 and becoming an introvert, I wonder if it had something to do with that.

Thanks for the interesting question.

My first depressive episode was at age 17 - - my first semester in college. It wasn't triggered by anything (as none of my depressions seem to be) and was fairly mild. I just remember feeling "different" and crying for no reason. I didn't know what it was at the time, just a very uncomfortable feeling.

[Hellion]

If your therapist yelled at you, then yeah I'd get a new one....that is very unprofessional of them. I mean therapists are supposed to provide a safe place to talk about these sensitive issues I mean depending on what someone is talking about yelling could be very damaging and even set off some kind of episode for some people. Also how would they know how far back someone can remember?

Anyways I can't really remember my first, I just remember even at an early age feeling down a lot and being very sensitive, so yeah it is hard to say since its been going on so long. I guess my best guess would be the age of 10 when I was in 4th grade, I remember having some self harm thoughts and wanting to somehow get revenge on all the other classmates who either bullied me directly or simply were ok with it lest they get made fun of themselves.

[Viuam]

I was 18, senior year in high school. Was bullied and ostracized by practically everyone. I didn't think too much of it then because I immediately went to college and things got better for a couple of years. But yeah, in retrospect, that was a red flag.

[gayleggg]

I was 32 when I had my first depressive episode. Been battling it ever since.

[Pierro]

My earlies recollection was in First class, I was very badly beaten up by a teacher which brought on an asthma attack. I remember thinking I hope I die now.

[mulan]

It is an hard thing to remember. I have some videotapes by the time I had 1/2 years, and by that time I wasn't already doing much well. This makes me think, cause I don't remember what happen by then. But I remember that since 7 I couldn't stick with a feeling...I couldn't get sad when people hurted me.
All my life time I heard people call me lazy. Remember much times when I had 6-10 years old to had hard time moving and thinking...and my teacher by that time was always complaining how I was distrated much time (head in the clouds).
But it became worst an noticible when I was 16...I guess I went through a lot of stress by them and it broke me more.
But I have been complaining about chess pains, headaches, and pretty bad stomaaches since 12.