[marmaduke]

I do not believe I was born depressed. I believe I was born normal. Intelligent, sensitive.
My parents had wanted a boy after 2 girls, father had always wanted a boy, he had already picked a name I was to be called Antony.
Image the disappointment, another girl.

I was of little interest to them, they both ignored me, I was nuisance, a burden. As I got older mother made it clear she disliked me, told me I was fat, ugly, stupid, that I stank and that 'Nobody who ever like me, I would never have any friends'.
I never remember feeling wanted, loved or hugged, cuddled or kissed. I remember no kindness or warmth. A refrigerator mother.
If I'd only been a boy! My life would have been so different.
I came to hate myself, I wanted to disappear.

Mother was spiteful. I had no one.

I have lived with depression ever since I can remember. Mother deliberately crushed any childish joy with relish.
My parents were not good to my elder sister either, she like me was a scapegoat.
Middle sister was a favorite, and doted on.

Maybe a tougher, more resilient personality would have survived my parents coldness better, but me, they destroyed the person I should have been.

Some mental health problems are probably inherited, but for me my depression is my 'parents' fault, of that I have no doubt.

So how is it for you, nature or nurture?

[Curupira]

Probably both. My most recent episode was triggered by the birth of my child.

[Webgoji]

Both.

My brain chemistry is all kinds of messed up. So a big chunk of it is my genetics. Mental illness runs in my family; both of my parents suffer from depression and my sister is so bipolar they might as well create a new category of it for her.

But then also because my family needed someone with emotional strength, I pretty much became the "rock". I created a "false self" that was always helping, being the emotional support for others and ignoring my own feelings.

Combining my own brain chemistry problems with the "false self" and bingo! Major Depressive Disorder. Joy!

[gayleggg]

I think mine was somewhat genetic but didn't start until I was 32 and ran into more stress than I could handle. I've never been able to be totally free of it since.

[regretful]

Mine was caused by poor career choices, plain and simple...that, combined with an over-reliance on alcohol as a coping mechanism and there you have it...depression, which I have been living with for the past five years...

This current bipolar depression I'm in was literally caused by nothing. I woke up on 8/4 and felt depressed, with no trigger. It has not let up much since.

[ImNotHere]

I think my depression came from both nature and nurture. Mental illness runs in my family and I have had depression since childhood. Obviously it is partially genetic but also childhood trauma, constant bullying, being poor, crappy parents, etc. all led me here is well. I was doomed from birth.

I was just recently diagnosed Avpd and Bpd with a major depressive disorder.

[Maskon]

Genetics, trauma, bullied, lack of connection, shy, introverted, self esteem issues, being humiliated= dysthymic & anxious since a kid
As an adult more trauma, death, losses = "double depression" dysthymia & major depressive disorder. And still anxious.....

[angryworld]

It's all so vague now...
I remember as a child being pretty OK up to around age 8 or 9.
It felt like things just started turning on me. I felt threatened, attacked, and trapped.
I remember more than once I told myself "I'll never say anything to anyone ever again." and just shutting down in a sulk.
I have no idea what caused it. Depression is part of my family history, maybe it just happened? :?

Mostly nature, I think, although nurture must have played into it. Both sides of my family have a marked history of mental illness. OCD, bipolar disorder, depression, suicides, institutionalizations, etc. My dad has BP2 and depression, like I, and his illness was always a source of tension and worry in our household. Obviously, the genetic presence of mental illness in a family can create an atmosphere that "nurtures" (i.e. aggravates) the illness(es).

Mostly nurture on my end. Mine is particularly situational because of school and bullying. I think, if those factors weren't as involved I wouldn't have plummeted so badly.

1/8 genetics
1/2 emotional abuse
1/4 emotional neglect
1/8 life disappointment.
Leading to…
3/4 over abundance of shame
1/4 lack of emotional intelligence
Leading to…
1/2 inability to connect
1/2 weak shame resilience.

At least the last three are overcome-able. Theoretically.

There's a good chance poor nutrition and over or poorly prescribed medication are also contributing factors.



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[paynful]

Both. It runs in my family on both sides.

My parents divorced before I was 1 years old. There were massive custody issues... My sister and I had all of our basic "needs" (food, clothing, shelter, etc) met, but pretty much got lost in the shuffle when it came to what we needed emotionally. Neglected really. Basically, I never got the chance to feel safe and secure, to be a child.

In addition, I bad doctors that put me on the wrong medications for over 8 years (my teens)... the side effects ended up reigning over my life.

Manipulative bfs. Health ISSUES. Money issues. Apathey issues... too many issues.

Depression isn't a choice or a phase for me. It's a life style.

I wish I knew... My life is like a big gnarly ball of wire. For one thing I'm a tranny... I've always been a tranny except that I only learned the word for it about 3 years ago. But for about the same amount of time, I've also struggled with depression, anxiety & other stuff. So I don't know which came 1st. Did I start out transgendered & develop depression & anxiety as a result of it? Or did I start out depressed & anxiety-ridden & then become transgendered in response to it? Or did something else happen that caused all three? The reality is that I'll never know. And since I'll never know... I'll never heal...

[The_little_didgee]

1. Genetics has a big role in my depressive periods. Some family members have struggled with depression and other mental health issues.

2. Navigating life without knowing about my autism until I was 34. Knowing about this would have been very helpful especially during childhood and adolescence.

3. Not being able to connect with people due to autism spectrum disorder.

4. Being misdiagnosed with personality disorder. After that I was treated horribly by psychiatry, which traumatized me.

5. Being severely bullied in school.

[-jimi-]

Mine was caused by medication. Sure I had dark thoughts before, and I had quite a bit of anxiety. But not depression, never had it. After three years use of an SSRI I felt I had to taper it out, it worked OK at first but at the end it was just numbing me out so totally I didn't care about anything. After I quit I felt relieved, I had gotten my emotions back. Then, I fell into the deepest of depressions.

Docs told me it was not the med, it was just a weird coincidence. They wanted me back on the same med and up the dosage to 300 %, I was on 100 % of the max dosage from the start. I said no and tried other things for three years. Finally I found an SSRI that didn't blunt me out, worked on a very low dosage and lifted me from the depression, something I never thought would happen.

I think my brain was just way way too sensitive to take that hefty dosage of med I got at first, paired with the rewiring it does, quite irreversible if you come with a certain set of genes.

I see my depression as permanent brain damage caused by Zoloft. It could happen because I have the genetics for it to happen.

These days the genetics are started to be understood and tardive dysphoria is seen as a real thing. It wasn't in the past..... That sucked.

But I finally stopped being bitter about the fact that it actually happened in the first place.

[Nightside of Eden]

My bipolar depression is almost entirely an act of nature. I had a pretty happy childhood and teenage years but the depressions would come at the slightest provocation by normal life stressors.

In my 20s I've been through some traumatic situations which have compounded things, but I was already bipolar before that.

"weird coincidence" are you freaking kidding me?! This is the stuff that absolutely drives me nuts. Was that before or after they black boxed it? I get angry just thinking about it.

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[Denman]

For me, Genetics, than nature and a specific life event - job loss, caused my depression.
Once the job loss happened, what followed was social isolation and loneliness, what followed that was severe Depression. That was in 2009. I've been suffering ever since,
despite using 2 SSRI's and Abilify, and Omega-3 Fish Oils, and Vitamin-D. The Depression doesn't seem to want to lift despite what I do.

[TheOriginalMe]

Genetics probably, but right now I'm not too sure.
Sometimes I don't even think that I have depression and am trying to excuse or justify personal inadequacy by pretending I'm ill or that my depression is a punishment for being an unpleasant and useless human being.
These are all fairly typical beliefs in depression so perhaps depression is triggering my depression. I'm pretty depressed right now and really struggling to comprehend that depression is an illness and not a punishment. In my clearer headed moments I recognise that depression has occurred in several generations of my family so genetics has a part to play.
When I was younger, therapists wanted me to explore the way my dad abandoned my family. Until then I had never considered that a trigger, mainly because I was relieved he wasn't in our lives anymore as he had made everyone so unhappy when he was at home. Therapists revisting this theme time and time again actually made some depressive episodes much worse. I was so frustrated they wouldn't explore other issues that were far more important to me and because they were so unrelenting in their pusuit of their agenda that, eventually, I just capitulated to get them off my case.
So I'm inclined to say that genetics and inappropriate therapies have made me depressed.

I was just reminded. I wonder how much photography chemicals played a role.

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[Altered Moment]

Genetics Both sides of family have mental illness
Alcoholism runs on both sides of the family big time
I myself am a recovering alcoholic addict
self medicated for the depression for years
I believe in my case it is totally biological

Of course it is proven that environment can cause it. Abuse and trauma change the brain. well proven. Look at returning vets from Iraq and Afganistan.

[healingme4me]

I'm going with genetics, both maternal and paternal fam,, more dads than moms. Being born with a neurological birth defect, now having a neurological illness, lifelong, environmental factors, etc. I'm only one, in my family, that I'm aware of, who cut in teen years and made an sui attempt. Remember reflecting, thinking mom was anxious type. I still choose black as primary wardrobe color.
Not sure.

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[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by Michanne

"weird coincidence" are you freaking kidding me?! This is the stuff that absolutely drives me nuts. Was that before or after they black boxed it? I get angry just thinking about it.

Listen. I knew loads more than docs did back then. I could do research while they were busy being good and ditching out the new money maker.

Still, it was very early times, my depression started 13 years ago and my looking into the true effects started before that. Before most people were online.

I know it makes you mad, it made me mad too. But end of the 90s docs were clueless. There were no warnings.

I was one of the first in my country to display a certain side effect from another SSRI in 1994, it wasn't reported yet.

The type of info we have today, simply didn't exist back then. Docs only did what they were programmed to do. We were too few to be a "thing" back then. Docs listen when tons of dead bodies fall on them, and not until.

I blamed the docs. They should have known. But as I sit here I realize they were dumbed down and clueless and the huge power in this was big pharma money.

The whole warning thing happened way after I was already affected.

[bookmadness]

Both nature and nature.

Various mental illnesses run on every side of my family. (Of course, I was a junior in high school and thought I was losing my mind before someone bothered to mention anything. Ok, they put it in a note.) Mainly depression, bipolar,anxieties and phobias.

Not talking about it, or addressing any of the potential that this could be a health issue that I could encounter? I spent some prime pubescent years freaked the heck out to put it mildly. And then I also spent those wee years doing all of the drinking (and more) that a lifetime could possible handle just to shut it all down and out.

Long(ish) story shorter: it would be with me no matter what, but I believe I could have had a better grasp on it if my parentals presented me with info. in advance. (Hey! Then they wouldn't be who they were and there would be some bizarro butterfly effect in the works.)

bookmadness