[Kindheart17]

So I'm new to this site . I need the way of talking to someone and not feel this hopeless alone and scare. The past few weeks have been the worts of my life. I lost my job of 15 years and on that same day my husband of almost 3 years told me that he wanted a divorce and that he married me to prevent him from getting him sent back to his country Mexico. We lived with his parents so he asked me to move out. I couldn't believe it. I supported him during all the times he had no work found a school for him paid all the bills and now 3 weeks into his new stable job he is kicking me out of his life. My heart is broken into pieces. I had gone through so much in my life. And he does this. I beg him to reconsidered but he didn't want to. I had no place to go so I tried to stay. But things got worst very quickly. He turned abusive and one night during the snow storm he pushed me to the floor I got scare. I gather all that I could and I left. One of my uncles took me in. I went back to the house a week later to get more things only to find out they changed the locks. I have no job. I feel so hopeless right now with barely anybody to talk too. My heart is completely broken the worst is that I miss him so much and I love him with all my heart. I am so alone and scared just look at the time pass bye and seems like eternity. Omg. I beg you to help me. I can't keep leaving like this.

[pegasus]

Hello Kindheart17, so sorry to hear you have been through so much. I think in time you will see that you are much better off without your abusive husband. No one deserves to be abused like that. Please keep sharing with us. Hugs

[Kindheart17]

I just keep finding myself getting anxiety and panic attacks. I don't have insurance right now so getting professional help is out of the questions. I have so much stress right now. I need to get all my stuff out of the house before they dispose of it. I have no help of getting my stuff and no income. I'm staying on the couch of some family member. Everything is happening. I'm trying to focus on getting a job but is so hard. I call my husband and he won't pick up or reply to my text. And that is the worst. Just drowning in this and no one seem to care. The more I call him the more he doesn't pick up. And I become a worldwin case of human desperation and anxiety. Please someone help

[avlady]

i agree with pegasus, you deserve better and nobody needs to be treated like that,he used you for his own purposes and probably was going to leave you anyway until he got what he wanted. Obviously he doesn't want to persue your relationship anymore, and if something happens where he loses his job or something bad happens, i would not be there for him if he needed you, he would just be using you again, i know what it feels like to be used and it is not nice.

Originally Posted by Kindheart17

So I'm new to this site . I need the way of talking to someone and not feel this hopeless alone and scare. The past few weeks have been the worts of my life. I lost my job of 15 years and on that same day my husband of almost 3 years told me that he wanted a divorce and that he married me to prevent him from getting him sent back to his country Mexico. We lived with his parents so he asked me to move out. I couldn't believe it. I supported him during all the times he had no work found a school for him paid all the bills and now 3 weeks into his new stable job he is kicking me out of his life. My heart is broken into pieces. I had gone through so much in my life. And he does this. I beg him to reconsidered but he didn't want to. I had no place to go so I tried to stay. But things got worst very quickly. He turned abusive and one night during the snow storm he pushed me to the floor I got scare. I gather all that I could and I left. One of my uncles took me in. I went back to the house a week later to get more things only to find out they changed the locks. I have no job. I feel so hopeless right now with barely anybody to talk too. My heart is completely broken the worst is that I miss him so much and I love him with all my heart. I am so alone and scared just look at the time pass bye and seems like eternity. Omg. I beg you to help me. I can't keep leaving like this.

I'm generally a nice person, but stories like this get my blood boiling....so please forgive my demeanor.

In my opinion, If I was given a choice between a cardboard box and living with a man like that....I would be happily painting my cardboard box.

Please, no offense. And I'm sure, emotionally, you do love him. But does someone who treats you like that DESERVE your love?
IMHO, he's a <word that would most definitely get bleeped out here>

This is a do-over for you....in all ways. You need to learn how to begin that do-over. Is there a therapist you can see?

Your first job is to get some financial stability. Apply for unemployment....tweak your resume...start your search....

Remember, he used you....you are not at fault at all. And you will be better off without him. Hard to see that now, I know.

ETA....Welcome, welcome, welcome! And hugs. You are among friends here (contrary to what my knee-jerk response may have you believe)

[Alone & confused]

I am so sorry!! I'm going to save the moderators a WHOLE LOT OF TROUBLE by not saying what I think about jerks like him! I don't know what else to say right now except we're all here for you!

[Kindheart17]

Dealing with so many emotions right now. But the worst is been in complete denial. I can't understand that he doesn't love me and that he sees all that I'm going through and not caring at all. This is what hurts the most. I'm still hoping that he wakes up and realize that he made a mistake. I know that's super crazy. How can I want to be with a person that treads me this way. I have no sense of pride or self love. The worts time is in the morning or at night time I find it incredible hard not to know what he is doing and where is he. He has not been responsive to any of my ways to reach out to him. I know is simple. He just doesn't care what happens to me. He is been incredibly selfish. How can I change? I get into obsessive behavior calling him and texting him and when I'm doing it I don't see that I have no control of making him care. Then I get stress and start having lots of anxiety to the point that I physically feel I'm going to have a heart attack then I cry uncontrollably. I have No way of getting professional help right now. Does anybody know how to get free counseling in the New York area? I know I need it badly.

[Altered Moment]

Denial and false hope and obsessing are the first stages of grief. It will get better with time.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Kindheart17

Dealing with so many emotions right now. But the worst is been in complete denial. I can't understand that he doesn't love me and that he sees all that I'm going through and not caring at all. This is what hurts the most. I'm still hoping that he wakes up and realize that he made a mistake. I know that's super crazy. How can I want to be with a person that treads me this way. I have no sense of pride or self love. The worts time is in the morning or at night time I find it incredible hard not to know what he is doing and where is he. He has not been responsive to any of my ways to reach out to him. I know is simple. He just doesn't care what happens to me. He is been incredibly selfish. How can I change? I get into obsessive behavior calling him and texting him and when I'm doing it I don't see that I have no control of making him care. Then I get stress and start having lots of anxiety to the point that I physically feel I'm going to have a heart attack then I cry uncontrollably. I have No way of getting professional help right now. Does anybody know how to get free counseling in the New York area? I know I need it badly.

I go to Google for Everything when I'm looking for things. I think there is a place in our forum here at PC that you can enter your zip code & it will help you find someone in your area. You might ask Doc John & see if I'm right about that. I know how you feel & I'm sorry for what you're going through!

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | Is this Abuse?