[Hachiko_c]

Hello,im new to all of this.(and here as well)
Maybe talking to strangers will give me a different point of view towards my situation(nothing personal against it,no disrespect towards anyone),but talking to family and "friends" hasnt really yield the "aid/helpfullness" i was expected to believe.
Dont know yet how much i can say for now or how long my energy will last.But for now all i can say that i have tried to go to a therapist and honestly i couldnt even make it out of my house
I know that unfortunately everyone at some point has to experience death,loss,grief...Im not okay with it and neither i have made peace with it,but after so many tries to delay the inevitable i was...well defeated.
No worries,not gonna commit suicide or rather i cant...not even self harm myself...no matter how much i wish to end it...honestly...
But the way that i had to experience the loss of someone...or rather the one,in such a horrible,cruel,painfull and unfair way has left me rather..in limbo.
Im jot sayint im special,but i doubt if many people had to go trough suffering,cojstant and scarring as i do...or still do...cant really tell anymore.

[Altered Moment]

Welcome to PC. I am sorry no one has responded to your post. You are welcome here and are not alone. Many of us know exactly how you feel.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Hachiko_c.

What matters is what you experienced and how it affects you. Grief has its own path with each individual.

This is your place to say as little or as much as you like.

[Hachiko_c]

1. What matters is what you experienced and how it affects you. Grief has its own path with each individual.

Thats exactly the thing that has stopped from wasting my time going to a therapist/lifecoach/psychiatrist or others,that most of their solutions are based on what its typical or usual(there is nothing typical or common about it).
Based of course in the little,too litlle,help i have got so far.
Obvioulsy is clear they dont know what true pain and suffering is and they thik by being pushy or projecting their happiness is the way to go.

My story is pretty much this: I met my wife about 14 years ago,she had a genetic disease,muscular dystrophy,nasty disease,unfortunately nothing can be done to fix it only can delay the worst by a bit but belive me it didnt made much difference in the end ( dr's said oterwise.....lies).
Other than not been able to move she was perfectly normal,still we got together....we....or i still dont know why , but it was good.
Unfortunately she had a Horrible family, specially her mother.... Father divorced her so it was just her and the "creature" at home everyday.
Even before that divorce things were bad already,due to the fact the mother was seeing someone else and the fact that the mother blamed the father for her daughters condition ( yeah she blamed that on him but its not).

I kept hearing the stories from my wife of basically the type of enviroment she was but until i started living on the same "place" i saw it was more than true.

The mother basically looked as if as if she was a saint,when i reality,she was partiying,going with friends or boyfriends,at somepoint she got a bf with kids,kids started living in the same house....one day my wife had to go to the hospital,but the mother left her alone in there not to go to work if not to take care of the kids of the bf..yeah that horrible....

Family completely obvlivious of her,ignoring her etc etc

So one day when my wife was 4 yrs old,she heard them arguing and the mother said to him "thats why i wanted her aborted"........thanks to her big mouth that sentence made my wife for the rest of her life feeling useless,unwanted and on the way.Until i appeared she wanted to commit suicide.She stopped wanting to do that but i knew deep inside something in there lingered.

Many things,many,many other things happened in those 11 years we were togheter but for today thats all i could muster to say.