[The Fox & the Hound]

I have all of the signs, all of those tests told me I did, & I've told online I am. So, now I'm seriously consider telling someone.
I've been depressed/had depression for over two years. Of coruse, its slowly getting worse. From being unmotivated, always being in my room, not want to go anywhere, not having fun or joy in my life,always being tired, crying, having suicidal thoughts, SI, being irritable, being rude, to having physical issues(headaches, cramps,feeling sick).

So, did you know you had Depression? Did you tell someone you knew you had it? Or did a doctor, or Psych tell you?

What did your parents,sibling, or friend do when they found you were depressed, or had depression ?

I had a fairly serious depressive episode in junior high but I didn't know what it was so I figured that's just how it is. In fact, I didn't even think anything was wrong until I proudly told my sister that instead of getting angry I just get tired. And combined with my behavior she stared at me for a long while and said that it was a symptom of depression.

I didn't actually get a diagnosis until last year because of a major depressive episode triggered by a bad roommate. And I didn't even realize what was happening until I was talking to a close family friend and he said I should go in to counseling services at my university because I probably have depression. And by then it had gotten to the point that I hadn't gone to classes all week and was basically a bump on a log. But yeah, I never really did spend a lot of time in my head in the first place so I didn't really realize that was not the way it was supposed to be until I was told otherwise.

My family friend (who is bipolar) was really helpful and has been very supportive (maybe too supportive lol) in helping set up appointments, get to class, make sure I'm well fed, etc which is good because I really didn't want my mom to know anything was wrong. In the end though of course I had to tell her something was up and so that was a really difficult conversation to have but in the end she even though she doesn't really get it all that much she has been researching and asking her friends about it. A lot of the time she doesn't really say the right thing and part of that is because I usually put on a brave face for her and so she reverts more to her usual self.

Eventually I saw a psychiatrist who said did her fancy official thing and said I was (and am still having) a major depressive episode but I'm a really... rather closed individual? I don't like talking about super personal things with my friends and I'm usually the most cheerful thing there is under the sun. So only one of my friends know because she's my roommate and has seen me taking my medication. She asked what it was but I didn't want to tell her but eventually she pieced it together with the stories I had told her about last year. She acts the same around me which is good because I would hate it if my friends treated me differently. The only time she's cautious is if stupid people say things like "oh man it's so cold, if you walk outside it's like committing suicide" and she just kind of glances over at me to make sure it didn't trigger me or anything. So in the end it's all fine and dandy.

It really does suck a lot because a lot of people who don't have it really just have no idea how overwhelming everything feels and then just how empty your insides are which is odd because your limbs feel so heavy. But yes it definitely is important to try and find support near you via friends and family. Knowing you have people to lean on days where you can't support yourself is really nice.

[Rohag]

I never suggested to anyone I had depression. Eventually a doctor diagnosed me based on the persistent symptoms I was describing.

Though I did not label myself depressed, the effects became impossible to hide. Also, I could not conceal I was going to appointments at a mental health clinic. Close family remained supportive, but it was a career death sentence.

[TheOriginalMe]

Sorry that you are feeling so bad, you're right you really do need to tell someone. All the online tests can never replace seeing a doctor or other healthcare professional and until you see someone, it is unlikely that you'll start to feel better.

It is really hard taking the first step and telling someone how you've been feeling, but you only have to take that step once. You described quite a lot of behaviours that people around you must have noticed, have they ever asked you what is going on? If people are asking about how you're feeling then don't shut them out, you don't have to tell them everything, just let them know that things are difficult, you're worried and you need some support.

If you decide to talk to a doctor about how you are feeling, sometimes it helps to start the conversation in a neutral way, so rather than jumping straight in and saying "I think I'm depressed" you could say "I'm concerned about my mood and lack of motivation". Either way a good doctor will start asking questions so that you can fully describe what you are feeling.

In answer to the various parts of your post:
I felt depressed for a long time without knowing it was depression. I talked about my mood to a form teacher at school, she was kind to me but it didn't really help. Eventually, when I was at University I talked to a counsellor because I was thinking about dropping out but I felt that would be letting people down. The counsellor told me to go to my doc helped me work out what I needed to tell the doc. Once I saw the doc, he put me on antidepressants but even then I wasn't sure that I was depressed. So even though I knew something was very wrong, I didn't think I was ill enough to be depressed.

My mom and siblings have all been supportive of me since finding out about my depression and that was 3o years ago now.

So please try and talk to someone soon and that way you'll know for sure what you're dealing with.