[hahahahah]

I always feel like I'm counting down the hours. There's nothing to look forward to and I get anxious trying to fill my time to distract myself from how miserable I am. I look at other people's lives sometimes and they seem so rich. They have all these activities and friends and creativity and I have nothing. I hate that I compare myself to others but I feel so alone and different. I just wish more people I knew understood. Even the ones who mention having been depressed or whatever seem to have lives so much more fulfilling than mine. I really feel like I have few interests and nothing really captivates me.

I wasn't always like this but when I try and think back a few years, I can't even remember what life was like.

[Stronger]

Something I've learned the hard way is: when you compare yourself to other people, you will always come up short...because you're just different.
Deep down inside, absolutely every single person just wants to be loved and accepted. No matter how much they may seem like they have it all together...they don't. I can guarantee that because I read people like an open book.
Stay strong, my friend

"And thou who thinketh to seek for me-
"Know that thy seeking and yearning shall avail thee not,
"Unless thou knoweth the secret.
"That if that which thou seeketh, thou findeth not within thee,
"Thou wilt never find it without thee.
"For behold, I have been with thee from the beginning
"And I am that which is attained at the end of desire."

"The Charge of the Goddess"

A lot of the time I just sit and wish time would go by fast so I could go back to sleep. I distract myself with games and food and chatting but really sometimes I just. Eh. One of my roommates just left to go to a party and now I'm sitting at the kitchen table all by myself just waiting for it to be time to sleep

[paynful]

Well... you just described my day. Counting the hours until I can go to sleep.
Take care of animals. Shower. Coffee. That took up an hour. Woodstove. Lunch. Something recorded on DVR. Another hour...

I could go on, but I just got bored... okay, more bored.

If I could run away from myself, I would. End of. No looking back.

The thing is, I LOVE to read. When I can't stand to be stuck in my head anymore, I like to get lost in a book. Unfortunately, that escape has been played out for a bit. Or at least, until I can go out to the library again.

I'm going to have to start sowing or something. Maybe I'll start a new trend in horrific homemade aprons. Yay! something to look forward to.... huh...